2nd trimester, here I come!

It was with much joy that I watched my WTE pregnancy app click over to “2^nd trimester” at midnight.  Not that this means anything to me – I am still sick, still not showing.  But it is certainly a major milestone.

I also came to a decision about what to do about the house, and about the stuff.  I realized the idea of not doing anything was a) stressing me out and b) kind of depressing.  So I have to make some changes around here in order to fulfill my nesting needs and make me feel organized.  Somehow the idea of baby stuff being slap-dash all around the house in every available corner just wasn’t making me feel good.  The weeks after the baby comes home are going to be chaotic and sleep deprived enough – I know myself, and I know that having everything in its place and a place for everything will make me feel better (ie, more in control in an out of control situation).  So, nursery it is.

After much thought I came to the conclusion that I don’t need to put the wall back per se but just rearrange some furniture (and get rid of a couple of things) to create the illusion of a room.  This way it’s not a commitment in case I hate it or it turns out to not be practical.  I didn’t think I’d need a nursery because the baby will sleep in my room…but then I realized I need a place for all the baby’s STUFF.  And as much as I don’t want a bunch of crap, like it or not I’m going to end up with a bunch of crap.  So I need a central location where all the crap can go and be OUT OF SIGHT.  This way too my room can stay my room and not be overrun with baby stuff, and I can have a nice space to put a rocking chair, changing table, toy box, etc.  Just thinking about it makes me sigh with relief.  My whole house doesn’t have to be strewn with cheap plastic crap, hooray!

With much searching on Etsy my preliminary nursery concept is elephants.  There are just so many darned cute elephant lamps, garbage cans, planters, banks, rattles, and figurines I could have a blast with, all with a 30s – 50s flair.  And I like the idea of muted mid-century colors like grays and blues and whites. Mostly, it’ll be fun to spend the next few months piecing it together – looking for wallpaper, a rug, a nice vintage print for a curtain for the one window, a new light fixture, paint colors, fun little vintage decorative pieces.  Should be relatively cheap (most of these items are under $20) and will entertain me.  So, it feels good to come to a decision about the whole “stuff” issue which has been haunting me.

Completely knocked out by the announcement on Facebook tonight that my friend, the married friend with the daughter that announced her pregnancy to much fanfare and made me wonder how different the reaction to my (non-) announcement would be, has miscarried.  She must have been at least a month ahead of me, maybe even two.  SO sad for her and her family right now.  It reminded me again (as if I’ve forgotten) how tenuous all of this stuff is.  I had a dream last night that I miscarried and was sort of on edge all day.  Now I feel like I need to keep my fingers crossed again for a while.