Oahu

We returned from a week on Oahu late Sunday night and have been a hot mess ever since. Mainly, our sleep is all dysregulated - I keep canceling things I was supposed to do before noon, and our mealtimes are all over the place. Yesterday Bobby slept in until 1:30. So, he’s basically me at fourteen.

Our trip was good, but not without a few stressful snafus - due to World Cup traffic, we barely made it to the airport on time when we left LA, then when we arrived and were just getting into our Turo car, the H realized in a panic that he’d left his phone somewhere and insisted on driving us all out of the parking area to a loading zone and leaving me and Theo there while he used Bobby and his “find my” feature to run all around the airport trying to find his phone - this would have been stressful enough, but he left me in a Nissan Rogue which has a completely incomprehensible gear shift - it might as well have been a manual stick shift. So of course when the security officer came by seconds later and said we had to move the car, I spent probably fifteen minutes while he was glaring at me trying to figure out how to move up the seat and how to get the car out of park, then didn’t know where to go or what to do so I just pulled into a parking garage where I got stuck not being able to reverse the car for another fifteen minutes until I finally figured it out. Mind you this was well after midnight (3 AM our time); I was exhausted and starving and had already had a few stressful incidents that day, and was furious with him for once again leaving his phone somewhere (he’s done this several times - thank you, adhd) and then panicking and abandoning me in a dangerous situation in a car I can’t drive (which he could barely drive, either, so he knew it was problematic). It was well over an hour before the phone was found on the plane and brought out; by then he was relieved and laughing it off but I was seething. This was the beginning of our vacation. It didn’t bode well. I let him have it, and he saw how serious this was to me and apologized for putting us in that situation. And then I had to just get past it. Ah, marriage.

Thankfully the trip looked up after that and there were no more disasters. There was snorkeling and swimming and hiking Diamond Head and an emotional visit to Pearl Harbor. All the things I hadn’t done there yet. I wouldn’t stay in Waikiki again, but we did it once, mainly because it was all my points could afford. I split it with two nights on the north shore which was a lot nicer. Tons of traffic and parking issues which isn’t what you want on a Hawaiian vacation, but hey, it’s overrun by tourists and we’re part of the problem. 

I’ve come home convinced I look fat in all the pictures and I MUST lose weight before my event in two months. We’ll see how long my resolve lasts this time. So far getting up late as hell the last three days and only having a couple of low calorie meals a day has been helpful. 

It’s weird front-loading the summer with a trip right away; I can’t believe we’re back and yet have the whole summer ahead of us with not even so much as a weekend away for at least three months. I sure do miss the cabin already. Temps in the desert are high 90s to low 100s. 

We have two feral weeks before the kids start summer camp - this one and the next. I’m struggling to think of lunch foods and how to get them out of the house. I’ve been working on event stuff round the clock since we got back and am only just now coming up for air; everything hit when I returned and requires a lot of time and focus. The hotel sent me contracts for 2028 and 2029 to review, and so far they look fair. It’s good to know they still want me and that I still have a future there, assuming my attendance doesn’t completely collapse by then. Will it turn around once Trump is gone and people feel more optimistic about their finances? Perhaps. Right now I’m on track to lose another 100 people, although it could get even worse and I just don’t know it yet. It’s a terrible reality to have to live with. I just keep telling myself that somehow it’ll all work out even if it means a few years of austerity. At least the house is paid for.

Theo graduates 6th grade

Theo graduated from 6th grade today in a nice ceremony at school, which officially ends our elementary school experience which began in 2017 when Bobby started kindergarten. What a long, strange trip it’s been!

As always, I have mixed feelings about it all - part of me is done with the little kid stuff and ready to move on to the next phase, and with Bobby two years ahead I know exactly what that will look like. But I couldn’t help but look a little longingly at the parents at graduation cradling newborns or corralling littler kids - all of that is in the rear view mirror for me now; it’s hard not to get a little misty about it. Any ideas I had about getting really involved in their elementary schools and really bonding with the other parents is over - things went down the way they did, and that’s it. I stood a chance at their old school, but then Covid ruined that momentum and we never really recovered. 

Theo got a citizenship award (no doubt for being a kinder helper all year) and the presidential silver award (with our loathsome president’s sociopathic signature on it - I thought about blacking it out, but then thought it might make an interesting historical artifact some day). Bobby played hooky from his last day of school to be there, and of his own volition chose to dress up. Now we’re home sorting through Theo’s leftover supplies and artwork, then we’ll go for lunch and end of school ice cream later. I asked Bobby if he would still get ice cream on the day he gets his Masters and he said yes. 

We’ve got a few days to prepare for Hawaii and then we leave on Monday. I’m looking forward to having this time off from the daily grind, especially dragging myself and everyone else out of bed (to be fair, Theo’s always up because he’s a morning person, but Bobby and I hate it). The kids don’t start their summer camp until after 4th of July, so we have a nice long break before we have to be on a schedule again.

On to High School

Bobby graduated from 8th grade on Thursday. There were no caps and gowns and no diplomas, but a nice walking ceremony and some acknowledgments. Bobby got High Honors, Perfect Attendance, and Service in Action. I had him wear his black pants and shirt from homecoming, and I’m glad I did, since almost all the kids were dressed up. This is a funny age, since there’s such a discrepancy between the kids who have gone through puberty and those who haven’t. Some of the boys looked about nine years old; others could have been eighteen. Bobby is right on target, I think. 

We all got up early and went to wait on line, then the H left after Bobby walked, and I thought went to work - then I get a notice that our front door is open and our alarm has been tripped. I can’t check my ring camera because I just happen to be charging the battery; I have about twenty minutes of sheer panic as I’m trying to get a hold of neighbors to go check it out, and then the H calls to tell me he went home frantically to pee and couldn’t remember our alarm code. Why he didn’t call me the minute this happened, I don’t know, but at least our house wasn’t being ransacked as our 8th grader was graduating. It took a good hour for the adrenaline to leave my system enough for my hands to stop shaking. 

Bobby came home after graduation, but I did make him go to school the next day. He told me they did nothing but play hacky sack and hang out on their phones; and they have three more days of this. Grades are in so nobody’s teaching anything, they’re just being baby sat until they reach the required 180 days of school. Theo graduates Wednesday and Bobby wants to go, so I’ll let him play hooky that day being as it’s the last day of school so nobody cares. That means two half days and then an early morning graduation and then we’re done. 

My sister is visiting and we took a hike up by the boys’ old school. I could see the graduation getting underway there…I still have moments of wishing I had just let both kids stay there through 6th grade as originally planned. But I know I need to get over that because the kids are fine - they don’t regret the move, and it all worked out. I guess I feel guilty/bad that I’m so disconnected from their current schools and never made an effort to connect with any of the parents. There’s still time, of course. But I feel like I’ve failed in that department. I have my dance community and those are all the friends I need, really. But it would be nice to be connected to other parents.