Plum

It is completely incomprehensible to me that there is a fetus the size of a plum in me.  Where is it?  Apart from a teeny tiny bit of firmness in my lower abdomen (maybe new, maybe not) there is zero indication that there is a person in me.  It will be fun when I start showing for real and can no longer explain my tummy away with a “yeah, but it kind of always looks like that.”  I for sure can’t wear any of my pants anymore, so that must mean something!

Last night I had a singing gig and a pregnant woman I barely know sat down next to me and asked how I was doing in this post-event time for me and if I had any hobbies.  I mentioned I liked to write, and she said, “well, as you know I’m pregnant, so I have a blog about that.”  It took all I could to not say, “me too!”  I did say I had a blog and was glad when she didn’t ask more about it.  I told her blogging while pregnant would be a great way to keep a record of all of her thoughts and feelings along the way.  Not that I would know anything about that.  Then another friend came over and said, “Everyone here is pregnant.  You’re pregnant (the woman I was talking to), so-and-so’s pregnant, who else is pregnant around here???”  Not me.  Nope.  As I reach for my emergency baggie of crackers.  Oh, and that roundness in my belly?  It kind of always looks like that.  It’s kind of fun hiding it from people.  I feel like a naughty teenager.

Been watching my “March 2012” board with much interest.  Since I’m due end of March (the 29^th) I am weeks behind most of the ladies, so it’s a little insight into what’s ahead of me.  In the first few weeks there were lots of miscarriages, which was scary.  But then as everyone hit the nine/ten/twelve week mark those posts pretty much stopped.  Then it was all about everyone being so sick they wanted to jump off a cliff.  I hear ya!  And it was wonderful to see I wasn’t alone in those very dark feelings.  Now everyone seems to be recovering (whew, can’t wait for that) and now they are talking about names, parenting stuff, and food that they’re suddenly interested in.  Ah, can’t wait for the second tri!  I’m so close I can taste it!

Saw also on WTE that around now all the baby’s basic functions have been established, so apart from growing, he’s pretty much DONE.  That is completely amazing to me.  I believe everyone comes into this world with their personality more or less in place, so I have been thinking lately that the baby’s probably already started forming some of who he is going to be as a person – the chemicals he’s getting from me, the sounds, the genes. 

I told my friend the other day that although the baby will be ¼ Jewish because of the dad, he wouldn’t really be Jewish because I’m not and the donor’s mom wasn’t, and you trace Jewishness by the maternal line.  My friend (a Reform Jew) said this isn’t true anymore, that this practice has been abandoned (at least in the reform movement).  I wonder if she’ll be willing to help my kid explore his heritage – I have a stepmother who is also Jewish and I’d like the kid to have exposure to that world (I’m but a shicksa so I’m no help).  Sounds funny coming from a rabid atheist like me, but I think it’s important the kid knows about his heritage, especially filling in those holes from not having his dad’s influence.  My friend and my stepmother are both very proud to be Jewish yet both don’t believe in God, which I find fascinating.  You would never in a million years have someone identify very strongly and proudly as Christian and then say, “but I don’t believe in God or the Bible or anything.”  Not a judgment, just an interesting phenomenon I’ve noticed.

Today I am going to a rollerskating birthday party in which I will not be rollerskating.  I was worried about that drive up to Ventura, but luckily an older lady friend of mine called last night and asked if I wanted to carpool.  This will also be an excellent opportunity to tell her my news.  I may tell others today if the opportunity presents itself…but it has to be right.  You need privacy, quiet, and the person’s full attention, and those times just haven’t happened much lately.