The kid just did not want to sleep. I tried everything. Shushing, swaddling (even dug out this fancy sleep swaddle thing), rocking, finally just nursed him literally the entire night, but he still fussed and fussed. Until about 11 AM when we had to leave for his first pediatric appointment.
Did this happen because I let him sleep all day? Was it because he's been using the swing? Because he slept so much during the day he didn't eat as much so he was just really hungry? Or was it just a random crappy night? I don't know, but my patience wore thin. On the way to Kaiser I ran into this insane Dodger Stadium traffic which meant sitting still for ten to twenty minutes at a time - while Robert screamed bloody murder in the back seat. It was horrible. I nearly burst into tears. Mama said there'd be days like this, right?
Then the pediatric appointment. Thankfully everything looked great - he's right at average for growth and weight and is perfectly healthy (I am continually amazed by this)...but he screamed all through his appointment, and I was ready to blow a gasket as they asked me all the same stupid questions and had me fill out the same stupid questionnaires I've done a thousand times already (questionnaires that ask if you've ever been tempted to hurt your baby - like anyone would cop to that! And for the record, the answer is still no despite our crappy night)...I kept saying we had a rough night and I just really needed to get home, but they kept me waiting and waiting. I know I should just be grateful he's getting good care and is in such great shape - but it all seemed kind of like a waste of time to me. Luckily he doesn't have another appointment until end of May, hooray!
So I fed him and we had a nice nap upon return home at the expense of the dog's walk. Sorry, dog, for everything. Robert put his little face on my face and made his little cooing sounds and slept that way. I hope he's coming to know me as his mother. It's still so hard to tell sometimes. Because he's so little I rarely see him alert and happy - he's usually asleep, nursing, or screaming. I look forward to spending more quality time with him when he can be awake and not hungry. The moments of watching him make cute faces are few and far between because his face is usually buried in one of my boobs (or breassesses as we call them around here).
In the meantime here he is at this moment:
I am hopeful that his awake time is soon things other than screaming and nursing, for both your sakes. :) And I am sure the dog will survive (and forgive you, eventually, ha ha).
ReplyDeleteIt sucks that the pediatrician was so insensitive to the needs of a newborn and new mom. Glad he is healthy!
Ah yes, days like that are inevitable...I hope they are few & far between.
ReplyDeleteI remember when Elena was that age & people would tell me, "Enjoy these moments because they'll be gone before you know it." & I'd think to myself, "Enjoy what??!!!?" & feel horribly guilty. Even now looking back I don't hold any particular nostalgia for those early weeks. It's this age now that I'm gonna miss, she's so fun & interactive & so fun to watch her personality developing.