I don't think an hour has gone by without one boob or another in his mouth, he hasn't slept at all, but has peed all over me and the bed twice (and has also spit up on everything). This has been our life today - sitting in this bed like a life raft, trying to keep the baby happy and healthy. It's been relentless.
I see now how putting him down to take a shower, do work, etc, is so important. Now I'm worried I've done the wrong thing by feeding him so much - there's been no schedule at all today. I know you technically can't spoil a newborn, but did I just screw something up here...?
A friend called and invited me to brunch tomorrow but I declined because I just don't feel comfortable going to a restaurant with him yet - last night I went out and DJ'd for an hour and then tried to go out and have a late dinner with some people, but had to leave right away because he was screaming his head off. I feel like a bit of a time bomb is about to go off for me - in just a couple of weeks I've got some obligations (gigs, meetings, etc) and I'm going to have to get prepared to leave him with a sitter, and I don't have the slightest idea how to do that (pumping? Storing the milk? How much?). Right now I just want to not show up for anything and keep it simple, caring for him here myself. But for my own mental health I know I can't do that, either. Today definitely was evidence of that - I do need to keep some normal routines around here for both of our sakes.
I was supposed to start cloth diapering this week but just couldn't deal. He poops ALL day long, and the idea of having to hose off all that glue-like poop and then have wet, half-clean diapers lying around, all this while of course not taking a hand off him, is just too much for me right now. So I broke down and ordered a month's supply of Seventh Generation diapers. I figure I'll need them for outings/sitters anyway even if I do delve into the cloth. I hope I can do the cloth - it would be great to save the money and never worry about running out.
Many women on my chat boards are having similar thoughts as me, wondering if the constant feeding and lack of response from the baby are going to go on forever. As I've mentioned here, as much as I enjoy him at this phase, it is hard when it seems like nothing I do pleases him except feeding him - everything else, even kissing his cheek or rubbing his belly, makes him scream (if he's hungry, which he seems to be all of the time). I would take it personally if I didn't know better. So it seems all new mothers have that thought - when does it get better? When will I actually be able to interact with my child? Some say it starts to get better at six weeks, some three months. Either way I know the time will fly by. As it is he's nearly three weeks old right now, and is thriving, so I must be doing something right. I feel like I'm stumbling around in the dark, but apparently the dark is full of clueless first time moms, so I'm not alone!
Hang In there, it will get better. You're not doing anything wrong. I went through the same thing with Annelise. There were days when we never left the couch because she was constantly nursing. Sometimes at the end of the day I'd just want to scream "Get off me!" I consulted all my breasting feeding books and the best answer I got was "enjoy the extra time with your baby because it won't last" And it didn't. She still has days when she wants to nurse a lot. I chalk it up to a growth spurt or just a need to be next to mommy.
ReplyDeleteI was also worried about leaving her because I didn't know how much milk she would take and she had absolutely no type of schedule. I remember when I use to babysit, the mothers would be able to tell me exactly when they would eat, how much and then when they would go down. I spent every single moment with my baby and I still couldn't tell any of that. I didn't think I would ever be able to leave her. The first few times I left her I'm sure I left way more milk than she actually needed. I still feel like I'm just guessing at how much she drinks. I even told my sitter that and told her to give her more if she seems hungry. Between the two of us were starting to figure it out.
It won't always be like it is now. And it's amazing how fast it will change. Annelise is almost three months old. I can now some what predict when and how much she'll eat. It's still a little tricky guess when or if she'll nap, but I do know when she'll go down for the night. I realized the other day that she does seem to have a set bedtime. It's no longer the random eating and sleeping all day and night thing.
And the cloth diapers - poo from breastfed babies desolves, no need to scrap it off. I just drop them in a pail next to the toilet (no scraping, no soaking) and then every second or third day dump the whole thing in the washing machine.
Sorry for the long comment, but as I read your post I remembered feeling that way and I just want you to know it does get better. And you look great in the picture.
First, I am quite sure you didn't screw anything up...It's still too early to completely "ruin" him ;) I remember crumpling into the fetus postion, sobbing to my Mom, "Why does she hate me so much?!?" because nothing I would do would calm Elena. For us, it turned out that I was actually feeding her too much. Turned out that she was comfort eating & resulted in excess gas that caused spitting up. From there, I went on strict at least 1hr, hopefully 1.5 to 2hr between feeds. I also caved & got her a soother to suck between feeds. It helped for us.
ReplyDeleteYou look beautiful, by the way!
I remember those days so well...it does get better! It was so hard, Finn cried so much that I almost never left the house for more than an hour or so at a time. And then all of a sudden, he got better. I don't know why, he just did.
ReplyDeleteI read somewhere (I think Dr. Sears) a quote that helped tremendously, "You don't have to make your baby stop crying, you just have to make sure he knows you're there when he does."
As for pooping - the frequency does slow down as some point, which will make it easier for you to contemplate cloth diapers.
Thanks for the helpful comments, ladies. It's great to know whatever is going on around here is totally normal!
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