Adjust your mask first

...then assist your child. Anyone who's ever been on an airplane knows what this is in reference to. And lately this has become a part of my burgeoning parenting philosophy. Sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes mommy's needs have to be met first.

Meals have been a bit of a challenge, because by the time I've prepared something the baby's good will has evaporated and he wants something, so I would find I'd let the food go cold or be ruined while I held or fed the baby. The other day it dawned on me - he can bloody well wait two and a half minutes for me to eat a taco. If he's not in pain or danger, he can wait. So I've been putting this into action lately, and it's been great. His needs are met, and my needs are met. Win/win.

Yesterday I even found myself saying to him, "I'll be right with you when I finish putting on my mascara." Is this selfish? I'm sure some people would be horrified by this. But I have to say teaching children that sometimes you have to be patient is extremely important, and is kind of becoming a lost art. I think it's easy for new mothers to think of their babies as miniature adults - "if I were crying like that, I'd be really really upset". I know I felt this way initially, until I saw how quickly my son would go from beet purple screaming to pink and content - he's just communicating. He's bored, lonely, cranky. A change of position and he's fine. Sometimes in the car he'll scream his head off for twenty minutes, then fall asleep. I can't pull over every five minutes to nurse him or comfort him, so I just have to let him scream. Is he psychologically scarred by this? I think not.

Still, I do love comforting him when I can. Just now he was cranky as heck and I had fed, burped, and changed him, but he was still kicking angrily and red faced and crying. So I swaddled and shushed and rocked him and he fell right to sleep. There is a tremendous sense of satisfaction in that.

So I think this will be something I'll experiment with as he grows - when to tend to him right away, and when to make him wait. But I do find mommy does a lot better when she's well fed and rested.