I just joined Baby Center via my phone app now that I have a birth date. I got an email from them today about "overcoming your traumatic birth experience". Again, so glad people are talking about this topic. I hope it helps women out there who feel mad/bad/sad/guilty that their experience wasn't what they hoped. For me, the farther I get from it the better I feel about it - as in, the bad feelings are dissipating although I haven't forgotten how awful it was, believe me. But I no longer feel like I could burst into tears at the drop of a hat, which is good. One funny thing is certain TV commercials that I saw over and over during labor are still running and kind of take me back to that hospital room - one being the "Alouette" Target ad, the other being a song with a line "my heart skips a beat" for granola bars or something. I am looking forward to these campaigns being retired. Nothing brings back the feeling of an experience like a song.
So my friends brought over the swing - and I hate it. It is a monstrosity that takes up my entire dining room, can't be moved, and the seat is a little bit at a slant to the side and can't be fixed without a special tool. Doesn't mean it can't be used...but I haven't used it and instead spent $50 to buy a nice little portable one on Amazon instead. I think I've had it with borrowing baby things or accepting hand me downs - I always end up with these gargantuan plastic nightmares that I have no space for, and now I have the awkward situation of having to ask these busy parents of a toddler to come back over and take it away. They also brought me this tummy time play mat thing that is also gigantic and literally takes up the entire floor of the nursery. Why does everything have to be so huge and ugly...? I may ask them to take this back, too. I feel terrible but I just can't have these things blocking walkways and taking up all the space in here. Sigh.
So for now I survive sans swing. Some days he's super fussy, some days he's not. I chalk it up to growth spurts. I am still nursing using a nipple shield which I know is a bad thing, but any attempt to not use it has only resulted in a screaming, frustrated baby. Not sure what to do about this situation. My lactation consultant would kill me if she knew I was still using it. I'm afraid at this point he may never be able to nurse without it. But hey, at least he's nursing at all.
There are still things that take me back to my birth experience but you're right that the farther you get the better you feel. But I hate when people say, "Oh you'll forget" because I still remember it vividly...it doesn't bother me anymore but I do still get emotional about it at times & I don't think I'll ever forget.
ReplyDeleteSorry the swing was such a monstrosity...it's amazing how this tiny babes seem to need this humongous apparatis!
I never wound up getting a swing. I have such a small house and they're so big. I thought I'd wait to see if we needed one. She did fine with just a bouncy seat and being carried in the sling.
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