Survey says...

Kind of inconclusive.  Which is not a bad thing – my CM (or lack thereof at this point) indicates I won’t ovulate until mid-late next week anyway, so the fact that the lead follicle today is only 11 mm means this is about right for timing.  But it’s just too early to be able to say, “ok, trigger on this day.”  They want me to come back in on Tuesday for another ultrasound.  With no CM yet I am confident that won’t be too late.

She did say I responded to the drug – that it “looks better” than last month’s Day 12 ultrasound; there are about five follicles on my left ovary; once again couldn’t really see the right.  So there’s activity, it’s just a question of, will they mature?  Will they produce a viable egg?  Who knows.  I guess my worst nightmare would be going in on Tuesday and seeing the same 11 mm follicle.  But unfortunately that’s a possibility.

The good news is I don’t have to cancel my trip nor try to shoot myself up while in a sweaty bathroom at a dance venue as I’m about to go on stage and sing.  So that’s a relief.  If I get to trigger at all it will be in the comfort of my own home and (hopefully) with someone’s help.  So I can fulfill my obligations this weekend, not spend any more money changing flights around, and not piss anyone off, and then deal with all of this when I get home.

I had sincerely hoped all the doubts would be resolved today, but I kind of knew going in that since the CM had not arrived yet that ovulation would in no way be imminent, so all we’d see is some small developing follicles.  I have had several cycles that indicate ovulation as late as day 16 or 17, so that’s not unusual for me.  So they can’t tell me it really worked, not yet.

She mentioned I have “cystic” ovaries – I asked if she thought I had PCOS, and she said no, but I do tend to produce cysts.  Worst case scenario (and she was reluctant to tell me this) is I produce cysts that don’t contain viable eggs.  Not sure what happens at that point.  She also asked if I had had any side effects on the Femara, and I said no, and she said good, because she’d seen people become suicidal on Clomid.  Yikes!  Glad I dodged that bullet!

So the summary is a) I appear to have responded to the drug; she said the follicles not growing any more is unlikely but is an outside possibility, you never know, b) it looks way better than last time when I didn’t ovulate, and c) hopefully the Day 14 ultrasound will show appropriate growth and I’ll trigger that night.  This should all be considered great news, but I am of course still worried and a little let down, just because I wanted this all to be resolved.  But really it could only have gone one of two ways – this way, which is the “you’re going to ovulate later” scenario which doesn’t mess up my weekend but does make me wonder if it’s going to work, or the other way, which is “you’re going to ovulate sooner” which screws everything up for the weekend and puts me in a really awkward position.  So I guess just five more days of anxiety and then I’ll know all (to be followed by an IUI, and then two more weeks of anxiety).  Good times!

PS – got stuck waiting outside of the locked clinic with what could only have been a donor.  Awkward!  Then on the way out saw a cute lesbian couple with their tank o’ sperm for the weekend.  This time I did wish them luck, and they thanked me.  Just spreading that good mojo around!