Just in case you’re wondering, the 4th weekend did not improve for me. On Monday I went to Ventura to visit friends, and while we were sitting in the back yard we heard a crash, and ran out to the street to see the entire driver’s side of my car smashed in and a large black truck squealing down the street. This will be the second time this car has been demolished by a hit and run driver while parked, and the third time this has happened to me in about seven years. Luckily I was able to make the hour and a half drive home safely – although it was harrowing, and I admit I pulled off the freeway once at Woodman because I felt like I was having a panic attack. But I made it home and just laughed. This just isn’t a good time for me. At least I still have a sense of humor (and kick ass insurance – the last time this car was smashed to bits I was stuck with a $1500 rental car bill while I was waiting for the repairs; this time I have great rental car coverage, so I should have nothing out of pocket). I am now driving a Kia Soul. Any idea I may have had about getting one when I have a kid has now been squashed.
In the meantime, good ol’ CM showed up Monday, so for the last few days I have had a raging battle about whether or not to try for an IUI this cycle if I am able to. I suppose in the end my body will decide for me. But as mentioned before, I am very curious to see if having been pregnant once kicked my body into gear as far as finally ovulating normally or not. I called the clinic and left a message – I would like to get in for an ultrasound tomorrow. I can’t imagine they’d deny me; I mean, I’m paying for it, and it’s not like I’m wasting sperm or doing something bad for my health, I just want to see what’s going on in my body. If there are any mature follicles, and if the lining is built up or not. If not then I have my answer – I have to wait another cycle, wait until I’ve had a real period, and take the Femara during it (this would be during my event). Which is fine. But if I can go ahead non-medicated this time…why the heck not?
Well, one reason is I know how I get after an IUI – I walk around on eggshells for two weeks, am afraid to do anything or lift anything or exert myself at all, and the next two weeks are going to be all about lifting and exerting. I also have my birthday party and everyone will wonder why I’m not jumping off the ledge into the pool like I always do and not sitting in the hot tub. Then there’s the event itself. If I’m right and I ovulate tomorrow or Friday, I would be testing right as the event begins, pretty much the morning of the first day (well, that’s when my period would be due). Is this too much? Right now I don’t think so – I’m only worried about the heavy lifting, and I can get people to help with that (the people who know what I’m up to have been falling all over themselves to offer help, which is awesome). And I’m not worried about the stress anymore. I really think this event is going to be pretty stress free – like it or not, smaller numbers means a lot less stress – and I know I could manage it. Wouldn’t it be fun to go into the event knowing I’m pregnant and having that to look forward to when it’s all over? I wouldn’t be sick yet, either, so I would still be feeling good. And if I’m not pregnant I can at least know I tried, and try again in two weeks, and then if that fails move on to mini-IVF, so there’d be a plan for the future.
Also, at my age, is it really a good idea to trash a cycle for no reason? Especially when with my income the way it is, pretty much half the year is out of bounds for being pregnant?
Well, all of this is a moot point if my body has returned to its old anovulatory ways. I’ve just seen way too many stories of women who got pregnant the cycle after a chemical pregnancy and that one made it. Could you say June was my “starter pregnancy”? I’m starting to refer to it this way. Makes me feel like there’s hope for the future despite all the obstacles I’ve had to face in the last few months.
After my miscarriage, my RE made me wait until my first period that started at least 6 weeks after my miscarriage. My m/c was the end of May, and the way it worked out, the cycle that met that criteria didn't start until the end of July. It seemed like an eternity, but in retrospect, I think that extra time was enough to let me heal. I did lots of fertility meditations, spent time at the beach, drank wine and took Coenzyme Q10 - and it all led to my little boy. I don't think you'd do wrong by TTC this cycle, but if you don't, I'm pretty sure that the increased fertility after a m/c lasts for more than just one cycle.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry about your car! That just sucks.