Tragedies & Progress

...and another blog post deleted just as I'm about to publish it. Ok, let me see if I can completely recreate this from memory...

I started by talking about today's horrible tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut, which also happens to be the very town where my mother and aunt grew up, my grandparents lived for 50+ years, and I spent practically every Christmas, Thanksgiving, and summer of my childhood. The thought of something so horrific happening at all, much less in such an idyllic, rural place, is just horrendous. I can't imagine what those parents are going through right now. Everyone is posting "hug your babies" on Facebook. Yes, indeed.

Before I got out of bed and turned on the radio, I was having happy fantasies about my proposed attic conversion. Still no estimate. But I'm thinking if I have enough in my line of credit and savings, I am just going to go for it now, since if I wait to save the money the main use for the space will be at least partially lost. I do want it to be B's sleeping space at some point, if he wants to sleep up there - and certainly a good overnight guest space. But it also dawned on me that it will solve one of my major problems, that being, how to make this house safe and practical for a baby or small child, and how to have other children over? It was breaking my heart thinking about not being able to have play dates because this house is such a death trap, full of antique furniture with sharp edges, cords that can be pulled down, and electronics. But if I have an open space that can be nothing but a soft carpet and toys, it would be perfect for having over other kids. I picture a built-in reading nook where I can enjoy a chai latte with the other moms while the kids go nuts; and this can later be B's private space, and then my private space when he's off on his own one day. So I am very excited about that!

I also put my big girl pants on and called Kaiser back yesterday - turns out they just needed to verify some information. And the woman on the phone, when I recounted the whole birth cost history, encouragingly said, "yeah, that doesn't sound right". I'm not saying I'm going to be successful in this whole quest to get my money back - but I am starting to wonder if I really was just blatantly overcharged, and then I wonder how many other people have been overcharged for their birth, called to complain as I did but then were just shut down as I was, and gave up? It sounds kind of criminal, to me. Or if not criminal then very unethical.

Package arrived on my doorstep today, it was my mother's self-published autobiography, the one she had me read some years ago which I was slightly offended to discover barely mentioned me or my sister at all, and had my sister's birth year wrong. Honestly I would throw this narcissism-fest in the garbage if I didn't think B might be interested in it some day; after all, I kept my father's crazy self-published book about his adventures as a yogi from another planet who made up his own language, why not keep this?