First flight

I'm in a sterile campus dorm room outside of Boston, nursing my baby who hasn't had any breassesses in probably six hours. Poor kid! He was a real trooper, though. Mom, not so much.

I was a ball of nerves all day. I don't know if this is a first time mom thing or what, but I have a terror, and I mean terror, of annoying people with my baby. To the point that even when people remark how "well behaved" he is, I find I have to answer by qualifying, "well, at this age they aren't really good or bad, they're just communicating when they cry, blah blah blah" as if anyone cares. I say a lot of this is still related to my previous and sometimes still crappy attitude towards other people's children. I'm working on it (my crappy attitude).

There was a couple in front of us with a toddler and a baby, and watching them struggle made me not want two kids, ever. And then tomorrow morning I'll change my mind. And so it goes.

So Bumpus was "good" I guess, in that he didn't scream his head off or anything, but he certainly had his moments and was super squirmy. In the bathroom changing him I put him on my shoulder and he promptly threw up all over my shoes. Upon return to my seat he peed all over my pants and shirt (not to mention himself). In an attempt to keep him quiet I let him mangle my nipples. Then I tipped a half cup of water directly into my purse. Mostly I was just tired and hungry and stressed out from running a little too late to the airport, and then the flight being late anyway resulting in nearly missing our connection. And thank God my bandleader friend thought to race back to the gate to pick up the gate-checked carseat halfway through the trip - I never in a million years would have guessed they wouldn't check it through, even though earlier I had had the fleeting thought, "can you imagine if we get there and they lost the car seat?" I'll never make that frigging mistake again!

So we're here now and on to the next adventure, which is the singing gig tomorrow night. I did connect with the woman who had been recommended to me by the organizers - her teenaged daughter doesn't dance and was looking for babysitting opportunities. I figure this will mainly consist of her hanging out near the stage with the baby in the Beco, since this seems to have worked last Saturday. I'm going to meet them for lunch tomorrow. Fingers crossed! And now - lights out!