Future fears

Lately I've been in this weird habit of fearing upcoming parenting hurdles (I know most of you are thinking, "what do you mean, lately?"). I guess when some of the parents you know are going through a "rough patch" all at once, it doesn't inspire confidence.

For example, walked with my friend the other day with the video game-addicted seven year old and she reiterated how he calls her a "mean mommy" and how disrespectful he is to her; I find this horrifying, but she seems sort of sadly resigned to it, like it's normal for kids to throw fits and lash out at you, say they hate you, etc. Is it normal? Maybe I'm the one with unrealistic expectations. Am I still in that delusional "my kid will never..." mode? It's possible. However, I know I would never have dared talk back to my mother, tell her I hate her, take a tone, no way, Jose.

I look at my sweet, innocent little baby and it breaks my heart to think he could ever be angry at me, defiant, disrespectful. But he's not always going to get his way, which means he'll be mad at me from time to time. Do I have the testicular fortitude to handle this?

Another parent friend of mine with a ten year old finally admitted to me last night what I'd suspected for years - that his son has major sensory/OCD/anxiety issues. He would tell me stories about his son sitting down to draw a picture and then throwing a screaming, crying fit when it didn't come out just right, and throwing and breaking things, and I'd think, "ummm...that's not normal." But then again it seems like every kid today has some "disorder". God knows I had major anxiety at his age, but nobody cared in the 80s. So nobody did anything about it, and eventually I figured out my own coping techniques.

Before I was pregnant I was scared of being pregnant. When I was pregnant, I was afraid of labor. When I was in labor, I was afraid of caring for a newborn. Now I'm afraid of having a baby that's mobile and needs to be entertained. And so it goes. Some of the things - caring for a newborn - have been nowhere near as bad as I expected. Others - labor - were infinitely worse than I ever could have imagined. I suppose raising a kid will be a bit like that. Some phases will be good, others a nightmare. Or not! I have one friend with a son who's now grown who all along the way was just a delight (and I can confirm this, since I've known the boy since he was five and now he's 21). He was just always a pleasant, mellow kid who loves his mama. Can I have one of those, too, pretty please?