50 wks 0 days

This is what my WTE pregnancy app says every time I check in to see what the other March 2012 ladies are up to. That I am 50 weeks pregnant. Can you imagine?

So I am going to talk more about baby #2, just because I'd be lying if I didn't admit it'd been constantly on my mind, and discussed with every girlfriend lately, some of whom have made excellent points.

Had dinner with a 33-year-old friend last night in which I suggested she freeze her eggs. When did I become that woman? I guess when I became aware of just how grim the conception stats are, and when I was haunted daily by the wish that I had more time to sort this all out. But I know that a) I just wasn't ready before 38, and b) had I done this in my early-mid 30s, I would have been haunted by the thought that I might have met a nice guy had I just waited. I don't relish the thought of two little kids in diapers - but my Doula friend, after watching Bumpus last night for five hours along with her eight-year-old daughter, rightly pointed out that once your first child reaches a certain age you just don't want to start all over again. I suppose there is a certain freedom in just being "in it" as I am now - I'm used to being the mother of a small baby; it wouldn't be too jarring to add another. But I sure wish I had three-five years to contemplate, save money, etc.

I was supposed to call Healthy Families to see if they accepted my profit and loss statement today, but I chickened out. I'm so afraid of more hassle, or disappointment. And if I'm turned down it will definitely tarnish my fantasy of baby #2. So I guess I'll just wait for that letter.

I wrote to my midwife to ask about elective c-sections in the case of pre-eclampsia, we'll see what she says. I also did a little math to see when I could conceive so it wouldn't conflict with my event, and it leaves me with only five months, and they are all in the early part of the year. So this means I either roll the dice a year from now or take my chances and wait until 2014 when I'll be almost 42. Can you see why freezing eggs might be on my mind...? Not that that's an option for me, but boy do I wish I'd done that ten years ago!

Bumpus is such a delight these days - just smiley and cooey and only wakes up once or twice at night. He's a totally different baby than he was even two weeks ago. So...it does make one think, this is a snap! Lest we forget, huh?

On the house front I got an estimate from a new pool guy which is almost double what I'm used to paying. Ugh. I guess you get what you pay for, huh? I know I need to get rid of the current guy who never shows up, though. If I were a man I never would have tolerated that b/s. So, time to put on my big girl panties and make some decisions!