I am now on a strict schedule of feedings every 2-3 hours no matter what, which is complicated when you think of how many things need to be worked around this - grocery delivery guy showing up, visitors, dog walking, sleep, my own meals. Still I'm reminded it won't always be this way; this is just my job right now. Some day soon it will all be a little less stringent. And he tends to conk out in between which leaves me time for work, housework, showers, etc.
Today I learned the fine art of "letting him scream". It was the first time I had to do something when he wasn't calm - the LC was coming over and I just had to have a shower, and I wasn't supposed to feed him, and he was pissed. So I just had to put him in a bouncy seat and let him scream, which he did. And you know what? He didn't scream himself to death, nor do I think he's psychologically scarred because mom took a three minute shower rather than spend twenty minutes walking him around the house. There are just going to be those times when he's upset and I can't do shit for him. I figure this is the beginning of what will hopefully be a collaborative household - "you need to help mommy now".
No weird mopey thoughts at all today, which means I've either beaten this potential PPD thing by consistent effort or have just been too distracted today to get all moody. I hope it's the former. I have used all of the tools in my "anti-anxiety/depression" toolbox to combat this situation because I'll be damned if I'm going to have walked through the hell of that birth just to spend weeks or months of my son's early life all bummed out and disconnected. I mean, f that, seriously. I'd like to enjoy his presence now, and I really am.
Here's a pic of him in post-feed bliss:
Look at that face!
ReplyDeleteI held Finn constantly, whenever I could, and so he had quite a few moments of screaming when I was doing something I had to do without holding him. My parents constantly told me that I was spoiling him and he'd always want to be held.
And now I have a baby who is completely happy playing on the floor by himself while I do things around the house. I think you're right, they learn they have to help out mommy very early!
I love his little hand under his chin!!
ReplyDeleteGlad the LC was a positive experience & that RT is learning to latch. Your feeding song made me smile! I made up a Why-the-Hell-are-You-Crying Song I still sing to Elena that calms us both down :)
He is so sweet! I'm glad you're feeling better and that the bf seems to be going better. Either way though, you'll take good care of him. :-)
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