Breasteses

Got through a whole night exclusively breastfeeding last night, which I take as a personal triumph. Sometimes he would do good long feeds and then sleep; sometimes he just grazed and I couldn't keep great track (and apparently at this age it's all about keeping track of feedings and diapers - how the heck did people do this without smart phones?). I wish he would just latch on and eat solidly for 1/2 an hour or more, but it doesn't work like that - it can sometimes take an hour and a half just to get through one feeding because of all the distracting / diaper changing / burping that's required to keep him eating, and by then it's only an hour before I'm supposed to start the next feed!

As with many things in my pregnancy I'm kind of cheating - if he's fast asleep I don't wake him to feed (unless it's been just too long); I haven't been supplementing with the syringe as requested by the LC. She wants me to take him to get weighed tomorrow - pain in the butt! Still I'll do it because I want to make sure he's getting what he needs, although amount of diapers and his general demeanor tells me he is. Boy will I be glad when these early weeks are over and I can just let him eat what he wants when he wants! This all feels so artificial but apparently it's what you have to do at this stage. So, ok.

I am lining up a steady stream of visitors to keep the isolation at bay. It's really important, I think. I am also very much looking forward to brief social gatherings after next week or so. I am dying to be out in groups again even if it's just for short increments. A dance or two would be amazing, also.

My father has not responded to my e-mail about the birth; my mother and I had a brief and somewhat uncomfortable exchange about the labor experience and breastfeeding that made me not want to continue the conversation. SO glad she's far away and not in my life...things could definitely get very complicated with my being a mother now, too. So I'll send the both of them updates and pictures and they can do with it what they will.

For now here's what I had for dinner - black bean tostadas with a side of baby.