The B and V report

Thanks, as always, for the thoughtful and helpful comments on my last post. I do want to stress that I rarely feel that way. But it does come up from time to time and I thought it best to be honest about it. That yes, having a baby is amazing and I'm so grateful, but it doesn't take away the pain of no one ever loving me. Not entirely.

But hey, onward and upward, huh? The past couple of days I've just spent toodling around town doing busy-making errands. I went to Little Tokyo to buy these kawaii kid's lunch boxes and kitchen things and a bath sponge. Today I met with a fellow thinker SMC. Cooked, watered vegetables, made a new jar of sun tea. 

And called a local preschool for a tour. While B slept in the car I had nothing else to do so I thought I'd spend some time researching preschools on Yelp. It's amazing how much has opened up for us since I first thought of preschool for him - back then I believe he was about eight months old; now at fourteen months many of these places may be able to admit him by September. Most don't take kids under two or three and they have to be potty trained, but a handful start at eighteen months. And ironically the one that looked the best was one my walking friend had recommended months ago. Unfortunately they don't have their rates online, but they suggested to call for a tour first so I did. I wasn't really planning on doing any of this now, but being as these places mostly have waiting lists, I figured now's as good a time as any to talk about fall "school" for the boy. Then my event will be over and I'll know where I stand financially. If only these places were free or cheap - but they're neither. And I simply cannot afford it right now. There is a fairly inexpensive church-type place in my neighborhood but their starting age is 3, the children must be potty trained, and one too many of the Yelp reviews talked about how they love that their child is being taught about God and Jesus. Yeah - not for us. But cheap!

So I'll check out this one place, maybe a few others, get on some waiting lists and see what happens. I'm excited. I think this is going to be really good for him, and I can't wait to see how he develops with more than just good ol' mom to influence him.

So on to the Boobie and V-J-J Report. Breastasiz pain has dissipated greatly since Sunday. They are still a little sore but no longer hard and lumpy and painful - I can actually pick up B without wincing with pain, which is a relief. I do believe we are done! So, apart from a week or so of miserable pain, weaning wasn't so terrible (and if I'd had the wherewithal to take some pain pills it probably wouldn't even have been that bad - duh). I am still having strange secretions. Which once again makes me wonder if my ovulation last week was all in my head. Was it a Phantom Ovulation? Is my body still figuring itself out? Well, I will most likely have my prolactin level checked this week and I am dying of curiosity. It's supposed to be under 20 to ovulate. 

Speaking of which, I have my appointment with the Kaiser midwife that I made six weeks ago day after tomorrow. It's funny to think how I went from wanting the appointment to get an opinion about how to handle the risk of pre-eclampsia to now needing it to have paperwork signed off so I can do an IUI next month. My list of things to talk about with this woman are: any and all methods to combat morning sickness, any and all methods to avoid developing pre-e, any advice about second pregnancies, second inductions, pregnancy at 41 or 42, and how best to work within the Kaiser system. With that said I do still plan to hire an outside midwife, too. I am absolutely going to need that support a second time around. 

Last night's Newlyweds episode showed the results of two pregnancy tests after one month of marriage: one positive, one negative. I was kind of annoyed one of the wives hit it out of the park on the first try, but hey - a lot of people do! Several of my FB SMC tryers have gotten BFPs in the last few days, at least a couple on their first try. It's hard to remember that stuff like that happens all the time, especially when you're using medications and monitoring and other advanced methods. That for so many women it all just works out. Will that be me? I don't know. We'll find out in a month or so!