And so it begins

Today I had my long-awaited appointment with the very in-demand Kaiser midwife. It went well. She was glad to hear I'd overcome my fears enough to try for another baby. I of course had B with me and she said what's so true - that after a year with your adorable baby it's hard not to want another. Is cuteness really that powerful? I'm beginning to think it is.

So she signed off on my paperwork and I had the prolactin blood draw. We also talked about the pre-e / protein connection and morning sickness. She told me I could come to her for acupuncture for the sickness, which is great, but useless when you can't even leave your house you're so sick. I asked about the B6/Unisom combo some people swear by - it's the one thing I never tried because I was afraid of taking sleeping pills. I'm even more afraid now with a baby to look after; the one time I took a sleeping pill in my life I was stumbling around incoherent the whole day afterwards. But I figure if I take a small dose and only before bed...well...it's worth a shot. Anything is worth not going through what I had to endure last time!!!

As expected she was a bit skeptical about the protein loading and liver support teas/kidney support. She said all of that can tax your system, which I suspected. And that's a relief. Because honestly trying to shove 120 grams of protein into my system especially when I'm so sick I can hardly manage half a cracker, is extremely daunting to me. I'd rather up my protein in a non-aggressive way - eat Greek yogurt instead of cereal in the morning, eat more cottage cheese and peanut butter, limit carbs. That I can do, no problem. And I am wary of herbs. I just am. So it was good to get her holistic-leaning but still medical opinion about my two biggest pregnancy fears - the sickness and developing pre-e again.

She was very positive and nurturing and said everything would be different this time. And I believe that, too. I'm not saying there isn't going to be a certain amount of physical suffering involved - pregnancy is largely unpleasant even n the best of circumstances. But it'll be different because I'm different. I'm no longer racked with fears that some horrible nightmare thing is going to happen to me, or that I'll have something good happen and then it'll be snatched away. I may have difficulty getting pregnant, yes, and there may be miscarriage(s). But I really, truly believe it's all going to work out. I just feel really good about it.