Boys on the Side - why I don't give a crap about the donor

Here is a post I made to a Choice Mom discussion board about the process of choosing my donor, which I did on 2/16/11.

Chose my donor yesterday.  It was pretty easy – I hate to say it, but I’ve never been terribly concerned about the donor other than he be healthy (which of course they are), not freakishly short, and look something like me so my recessive traits don’t get buried.  I figured it would be appropriate to choose someone who I might have dated – a quirky musician with unconventional looks.  It’s funny how the dumbest things end up determining your choice.  When I read their reasons for donating, one guy was a little snarky and I didn’t like that; one guy said he wanted to give “loving couples” the gift of life and I didn’t like that; this guy said he wanted to give “women” the option of children so I thought, bingo!  I also looked at baby pictures and that was huge.  I shied away from audio recordings or adult photos because I thought that was WAY too creepy.  But I have chosen “the guy” and the bizarreness of all this really hit me as I took the elevator down to the lobby.  It’s so clinical and cold.  Not at all how I pictured conceiving my children.  But hey, rarely do things in life turn out the way you expected, and often they surprise you by how right things turn out.  So I’m cool with it.

I’m at that stage too where I’m so focused on worry about if this is even possible that I kind of don’t care about the weirdness of it.  I’ll be 39 this summer and even though I’m healthy and appear to be ovulating, my physical stats are not without concern (I found out yesterday) – the dr. is concerned about my light periods, low post-O temps, and not long enough luteal phase.  She says when I come in for the “big moment” next month they will do an ultrasound to check the thickness of my lining and I can be put on progesterone, but this is the first time I’ve been told there might be “problems” so I am doing my best not to freak out.  Also don’t technically have my insurance sorted out; still waiting for an answer from Kaiser and it’s been nearly a month.  Would have started way earlier if I’d known this was going to take so darned long.  As always when I start to freak out about these little problems I keep telling myself, “if you can’t handle this little stress/inconvenience/complication then you definitely can’t handle being a mom.”  So I’m dealing with it!!!