School daze

Tonight I survived my first attempt at helping Bobby do new math. Barely. I’m not one of these stodgy old people who says, “this is crap! They should learn it like we learned it!” because I know math is about teaching you how to think, not just memorizing times tables. So I get it. But not having been in a math class since the 80s - and that math having been entirely different from this math - well, it’s the blind leading the blind, really. 

It’s only been a handful of nights of doing full evenings with the kids - dinner, homework, violin practice - and I have to say...it’s rough. I don’t know why this was easier last year; maybe I was more in the zone and less exhausted and out of it than I am now. But it’s quite the marathon and quite like herding cats. I wish they were more independent...but they’re not, yet. 

Theo has decided he wants out of pull-ups at night...which means he’s been peeing in the bed all night every night. I am still at a complete loss as to how to get these kids night trained. Yes, even 7 1/2 year old Bobby is still in pull-ups. Everyone I talk to about it says their kids “just decided” they were ready and magically stopped peeing at night. What do you do if your kids never decide they’re ready? Am I going to be one of those people that has teenagers still in adult diapers at night? Out of desperation I’ve bought a “pee alarm”, since it appears the problem is these kids sleep so deeply that they just don’t wake up to pee or even when they’re wet and cold. They just don’t seem to notice or mind. What do you do with that?? I’m skeptical the pee alarm will work, but I feel like it’s one thing we haven’t tried, so why not? Maybe it’ll be a magic bullet, maybe not. Maybe one day they’ll just decide they’re ready. Who knows? 

Post-con

So, event number 22 is done. 

It went well. And I picked up a lot of people at the door, which is unusual - bringing my total weekend pass buyers to about 1450, which is a record. Again I think back to the days of 700 attendees and how huge that felt...and we’re only two events away from our 25th anniversary, which I’m sure will be extra nuts.

The only issues this year were major problems with air conditioning at the hotel, and some floor slippage with the dance floor. Other than that, it was business as usual. 

This was the first year since setting up a Code of Conduct and bringing on board a Safety Team that we actually had no safety issues. The BF and I were discussing it last night and we felt that it’s #metoo that’s made the difference - everyone is hyper vigilant now, and the culture has finally caught on that trying to get young girls drunk so you can sleep with them is, in fact, not ok. The Wild West nature of these events from 10-20 years ago seems to be mostly gone, and good riddance. I believe it’s a huge part of why my numbers have steadily increased. 

My head is swimming with all the closing up work that still has to be done, but for now I’m going to get rest where I can and slowly ease back into family life. One thing I’ve been putting off for ages is handing off my job as organizer of monthly Single Mom by Choice get-togethers. It’s hard for me to give that up since I’ve been doing it since Bobby was a baby, and it’s sort of my last tie to the world of SMCs - once you’re long past the TTC, pregnancy, and new baby stuff, your mind just isn’t there anymore; and I feel a bit of a hypocrite with a live-in boyfriend for years. I don’t know the struggles of raising two boys alone since I haven’t done that in four years. All the things that would be issues now - the big kid questions, birthday parties and family tree projects - I managed to avoid just by the mere presence of a man in their life. Every month goes by and I just forget to put a group together because my brain is somewhere else (and a weekend day with no plans is a rare entity these days); it’s time to close up shop. It’s hard to let go of that piece of my identity, though, I’ll be honest. 

Crunch week

The boys started week two of school today. They were supposed to be issued homework...but none came home with them today. God, I hate homework. I’m hoping that with no school Friday they just won’t be given anything this week. They’ve both done well so far. I have to say, as much as I had looked forward to this summer and getting up later and not having to rush out in the morning to school every day...the summer was a bit of a mess. The boys were all nuts with the lack of structure, stayed up way too late, and things were generally chaotic. I for one am welcoming the settling nature of school, even if it means getting up an hour earlier. 

I got the good news today that the main ballroom will, in fact, be available for my event. I had suspected as much; after 24 hours of diarrhea after our first conversation, and after making a “plan B”, I decided to just put it out of my mind. Things had started to look up for the renovations the day after they called me. How I wish they’d waited 24 hours!

Tonight I close registration; for the next three days I continue my 24 hour work cycle until we pack up and leave for the hotel Friday morning. I’m pretty over the constant customer service, but it’ll be over soon. Every minute of my life is scheduled until next Tuesday. Part of me can’t wait to wake up and have nothing to do; part of me remembers how empty it feels. It’s complicated. 

First Day

Today was the first day of school. I’m pleased to say that despite the various cluster-fs going on right now I was able to be present and feel the weight of it all. Some day we’ll be saying goodbye forever to this special little school, and that thought makes me profoundly sad. 

With one kid in half-day kinder and two orientations to attend, I just hung around the school listening to the same presentation twice and then picked Theo up at 11 AM. We had lunch with a friend and then picked Bobby up at 2:30, jumped in the pool, made “hand pies”, got through dinner and bedtime, I filled out teams of paperwork for each kid, and then had a mere hour to answer all the emails that piled up today. Tomorrow I have to be out of the house all day while the cleaning lady is here, so won’t get any quality time for work then, either. Six days away. Sigh.

Theo did great - I’m always sad for the parents who’s new kindergartener cries or clings (there were quite a few of these). I’m continually amazed by the confidence with which these boys march through the world. White men, amirite?

I’m pleased to say my “oh my god my baby is growing up and I feel like someone ripped my heart out” freak out was, in fact, restricted to only last year. It really must have been more related to my mother’s recent horrid death than I realized.

Bobby’s new teacher is super friendly and apparently has three boys at home. I think we have a winner. 

This was Bobby’s take on school today:

Theo, the cutie patootie:

And obligatory stoop picture:

Making the hand pies. It was a total mess but worthwhile for how rarely we do these family projects. I’m pleased to say I did not partake, also managed to squelch Theo’s desire to eat all the cherry filling with a spoon before it even made it to the pastry:

And that was it. It was a good day and I’m pleased to get the real school year rolling - tomorrow is Theo’s real first full day, and both boys will go to afterschool together for the first time. Yay! 

Eight days

Tomorrow is the first day of school. This is the moment I had in my mind - my youngest starting kindergarten - through every pregnancy twinge, toddler meltdown, or pre-schooler rambunctious moment. Fall of 2019. Here we are. I’m trying to get everything in place and focus on this moment - but life has really thrown me some unpleasant curve balls lately.

Last Wednesday the hotel where I hold my event called to tell me that their renovations of the ballrooms where I hold my dances have stalled and I need to be prepared that I may not have a place for my event. WHAT. I had a major freak out and spent the day re-configuring the entire event to squeeze into their smaller conference rooms. I went there the following morning to have a look - by then the elusive electrical inspector had approved the permit and things were moving again, so it wasn’t looking quite so dire...but even now there is still a chance I won’t have the space I need for my event. So I’m very on edge and stressed. This is the kind of thing that could be torture to endure for the weekend and ruin my momentum moving forward. I’m just taking it day by day at the moment. Which is scary when there’s only eight working days left before d-day.

Then I went to Chicago this weekend for a singing gig and instead of arriving home Sunday night to unpack and relax and do a little work, ended up stranded in Atlanta overnight due to flight delays and got home at ten this morning. Luckily the BF took time off work and took the kids out so I could sleep and get myself together; but even then I stumbled through a Bobby doctor appointment, skipped his guitar lesson, fed them dinner, got all their school stuff labeled and sorted, gave them baths, while barely functional. I want to be there emotionally for this big moment in our lives. Maybe tomorrow will have to be that moment. 

Also, I kind of already had my “my baby’s growing up!!!” freak out last year when Theo started ETK. Maybe I’ll be spared that this year...? I guess we’ll find out in about twelve hours!

Last week

It’s the last week of summer camp. Already “first day of school” posts are appearing in my FB feed. Next Tuesday, that will be me.

I see friends my age that are on the opposite spectrum from me - here I am about to welcome my youngest to his first day of (real) school; some friends are on their last child’s last first day of school. That will be me in twelve years. How different life will be then! I’ll be (nearly) 60, hopefully my event will be in its mid-30s, hopefully my house will be long paid off. But here we are, at the beginning. This is the date I’ve had in my mind for years, dangled before me in the worst of the toddler days - fall, 2019, the year both my kids are in school.

I don’t mind admitting I felt slightly panicked this morning, thinking about it. What on earth am I going to do in just three weeks when my event is over and both kids are in school all day? Won’t I be bored and lonely? Well, somehow last year this wasn’t an issue - the time always manages to fill up. I’ve got band travel and endless house projects and next year’s event to plan. Not to mention my neglected registration system business, and my new tax routine, and a litany of other things that have been ignored for months. So, yeah, there will be a lot of catch up. 

This weekend I go to Chicago, then there’s a Monday with no school or camp, then the first day of school for LAUSD is Tuesday. With Theo in kindergarten, I basically hang around school for an orientation for a couple of hours and then pick him up at 11, so no work will be done for a second day. I am seriously going to hustle to get all the big projects done in the next four days so I can just focus on customer service until next Wednesday.

I am so dreading the early mornings. But maybe I can make them slightly less painful by changing our breakfast routine (right now very elaborate and complicated), not showering (I end up walking and then showering again two hours later anyway), laying out clothes the night before, etc. I’m sure I can get into a rhythm with our new reality. But for now I’m just going to bask in these last bittersweet moments. 

Good news

Got the word yesterday that the boys will be able to attend afterschool. Signed up today. Big sigh of relief! Having my usual misgivings about why, exactly, I need so much time away from them. But then I spend a weekend with them, and I’m like, yup. Boys are exhausting. Especially young boys close in age. 

Theo’s been trouble lately. And by “lately” I mean the last year. He’s super full of energy. Yesterday he got in trouble at camp for kicking another kid more than once - and in front of the kid’s mother, no less. He didn’t want to tell me who it was, but I guessed it was this one kid who, bless him, is kinda socially inept and follows Theo around and bugs him. I told him he needs to go to staff if someone’s bugging him and that it’s never ok to hurt someone or be mean to them. I was on pins and needles today worrying he didn’t get the message...turns out he kind of did. Apparently they got into it in the morning but then later in the day Theo went to staff about the kid bugging him. So...yay? I’m counting the days until they’re out of camp. Two more days this week and then next week and then we’re done. I am starting to feel like I need to be prepared to invest a lot more to send these kids to summer camp in years ahead - as in, three to four times more. Instead of just cheap government babysitting for the summer, maybe the kids need a real camp experience, like a swim camp or sport camp. I thought this was going to be a sport camp, but then they dropped that concept. So, I tried. Still, the kids enjoyed it, so I guess I shouldn’t feel too bad about it. 

I’ve got a lot of big decisions coming up the next couple of days for my event. Right now my brain can’t really cope. So I’m just gonna binge watch Catfish on MTV and try to pretend my event isn’t three weeks away.