R.I.P.

It’s over. My sister and I both didn’t know what to expect or what we were going to do...but as with all things, we got through it. My two cousins, sister, brother-in-law and step aunt got in the same little row boat we’ve used for both aunt and uncle ash spreading, went out on the ocean, spoke a little bit, spread some ashes, I played the song. I said that life with my mother was a wild ride, one that sometimes you didn’t want to be on, but in the end I thanked her for making me possible, and thereby making Bobby and Theo possible. 

I remember when I was caring for newborn Bobby and couldn’t stop thinking about how she had done all these things for me - carried me, birthed me, nursed me, wiped my butt a thousand times, had sleepless nights, endured hormonal shifts and vaginal tearing and all the rest of it. I can be as mad at her as I want, but she did all those things. And for that I am truly thankful. 

After we went back to shore a wicked thunderstorm started up along with gale-force winds that positively soaked my cousin’s small beach cottage. The rain was enough to fill a tall bucket in under a half hour. Then it passed and we had this lovely rainbow. It was very fitting, I thought.