Adapting

In an effort to get a summer-friendly setup going around here, I've decided to use the small portion of my back yard that isn't the pool and make a little kid area. It will come in handy on those hot days when I can't be buggered to take the kid out somewhere and the playroom is too infernally hot to play in (an unexpected reality of building into the attic - it's unbearably hot in the summer). So I went out and bought a kiddie pool, some toys, an umbrella, and a flat storage bin for a sandbox (with lid to keep out the feral cats). Haven't bought the sand yet because we had to make six stops to get all these things, with B screaming and fighting being put in the carseat pretty much the whole morning, so I was frigging over it. My hope is on hot afternoons he can run and play in this little area while I sit and relax. That's my hope.

Had quite a shock yesterday - woke up and looked out the kitchen window as I always do to see what the chickens (now chicken) are (is) up to. Discovered the chicken lying on its side along the bottom of the coop, with its head pulled off. Yikes. What a way to go, huh? I can only think a raccoon came along and reached through the fence and nailed the poor thing. So, nine years of having chickens is now over. I keep looking out the kitchen window out of habit, only to see an empty coop. No, I won't be getting replacements, not yet. I'll wait until the kid(s) are big enough to appreciate it. I have to say not hauling 25 lb bags of feed up three flights of stairs is very appealing to me right now. I just bought one on Friday. Of course.

In pregnancy news, everything appears to be going ok. Took the penultimate Dollar Store test today and got a good strong line. Was pretty nauseated yesterday morning but nothing today. And even yesterday was no biggie. I keep waiting for it to hit me like a ton of bricks. But my lack of nausea can only mean three things - a) the pregnancy won't make it, b) the nausea hasn't hit yet, or c) miraculously, it won't be so bad this time. Let's hope for C!

Been using my little thirds of progesterone every night. I hope nothing interferes with getting my new prescription tomorrow. Last night I had a singing gig and had a long conversation with the venue owner who has three beautiful teenagers - she asked me if I wanted any more (I said, "maybe"), and then told me her tale: three IVFs for baby #2, the third her sister paid for, and that they are still paying off (remember, her kids are teenagers!), two losses at nine weeks (ugh!), and then after baby #2, conceived baby #3 with no trouble at all. What a story! Just goes to show you never know from the outside what people had to go through to build their families. I so often wonder if the older childless couples I know just never wanted kids, or went through hell trying and never succeeded and just decided their public story would be they never wanted kids. It definitely sounds a lot nicer than the alternative. 

It's been a rough couple of days with B - another very unpleasant party experience, and forced him with great anger into his carseat yesterday when I had just HAD IT with his refusing to sit down. It sucked! It's not a good time for us. I feel helpless to keep him happy and entertained, and am losing patience. I am so dreading my trip to Florida next week. With the way he kicks and flails about and screams when he's unhappy now...ugh. Spent the day with people giving me dirty looks in long checkout lines. And always the thought tortures me...how the hell am I going to manage TWO of these??? Have I lost my mind???

I miss my friends, I miss dancing, I miss eating out, I miss doing adult things. Ok, just had to get that out there. Took B to the Baby Kennel yesterday to get my hair done; he screamed like a banshee when I left him, but BOY was it nice to have a break, and when I went to pick him up I saw him playing happily with the other children...until he saw me and then he burst into tears and started acting traumatized. But I knew he had a good time without me - they said he did a little dancing and some finger painting and was happy and laughing. It made me feel great that he's ok without me - gives me hope for the upcoming preschool days!