I survived (and by I I mean we)! Why I am so surprised by this I don’t know. Women do amazing things while in their third trimester – it’s just my first timer-ness slash tendency to expect the worst in all situations that gets me. I worried so much about this trip – from the first time it was proposed to us early in the year and I hadn’t even started “trying” yet but hoped I might be delivering around now (or at least be in the third trimester) to just days before. It hung heavy on me for months, convinced that I’d have some health problem and wouldn’t be able to go at the last minute or go into premature labor on the airplane, etc. But of course none of that happened. The lack of sleep on the way over (and a bit on the way back) was kind of torturous, but I did survive it (as you do) and for the rest of the trip felt well rested, well fed, and content. The gigs went very well and I know we made a good impression, and hopefully will be asked back. Oh, and I am now $1000 richer. Not too bad!
Baby bounced about during the entire trip so I didn’t need to use my Doppler although I brought it just in case. I will be honest that from an event planner perspective the trip was hard on me – here’s yet another extraordinarily popular event that has been growing in leaps and bounds in the last three years whereas mine has been barely hanging on (and consistently losing customers since 2008), full of nothing but young, hip, thin, good looking awesome dancers, none of whom have ever set foot at my event (and never will), and then I get to see weeks of Facebook posts about how it’s the most incredible event anyone has ever been to, etc etc etc. It just makes me feel like an out of it, has been, disorganized whore. Well, maybe not the whore part. But let’s just say other than relief about how well the band was being received and how well the pregnancy was going, my self-loathing was set on “11”.
And I had my usual fears about “how am I going to do this with a baby…?” I can’t ditch out on all traveling gigs from now on, nor do I want to. But how do you leave a baby behind for three + days, especially when breastfeeding? Luckily many of our trips are east coast and I’m hoping my family can help a bit, with some finagling of flights/trip times on my part. Still this is a constant source of worry for me. I had hoped that people would just stop hiring us, but of course this isn’t happening (because we’re awesome). To be honest I do need the money, and since I’m home with the baby all day and night all other times, don’t I deserve that time off, too? Especially when he’s a little older? I have no intention of leaving him with anyone for at least the first six months, maybe longer. And maybe even after that I just won’t be comfortable with leaving him. I’ll have to see how that goes. But – le sigh! Honestly this is where a (competent) husband could really come in handy.
So I’m back home and about to pick up the puppy from The Bad Place (kennel) which is always my favorite thing to do on return from a trip. Of course I always think she died and they just haven’t told me (see, again, my irrational fears) but feel tremendous relief when I see her funny little face peeping over the edge of her cat bed. She’s always kind of shy and weird with me at first but gets over it at the first mention of “walkies!!!” The house is so lonely without her. I remember the day my miscarriage started I was supposed to take her to the kennel for my Boston/NY trip and I just couldn’t – I kept her at home and held her all night, then got up crazy early the next morning to drop her off instead. It’s amazing the amount of comfort these little animals can provide us. I intend to pretty much always have a dog in my life. And I’m sure Bobby will like that, too.
No comments:
Post a Comment