Half way there!

Today officially marks the halfway mark of my pregnancy, if I go to 40 weeks.  I watched with a great deal of excitement as my WTE app switched over to 20 weeks 0 days at midnight…and the remaining time was…20 weeks and 0 days!  It’s the first time the time left in the pregnancy is not longer than the time spent already, which to me is a real milestone. 

Lately I’ve been having weird fears about delivering early (probably due to the Facebook updates from a friend who delivered at six months – her tiny preemie is doing fine, thank goodness), and then my usual fears of just how bad is the third trimester going to be exactly???  Am I going to be sick again?  Am I going to need help doing even basic things?  Will I be able to drive?  Will I have complications?  Will I have to go on bed rest?  Well, there are no answers to these questions.  We’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we?

One funny thing that’s come up is weight.  After reading a couple of blogs where the women were concerned about not being able to put on enough weight, I kind of went to town as soon as I felt like I could eat again…and gained nearly ten pounds.  As I mentioned, my ob said I need to watch it, that I really should only be gaining 2-3 pounds a month.  A MONTH!  That’s, like, what I gain when I’m NOT pregnant (especially at this time of year – oy).  Now, I knew better than to believe this whole “eating for two” myth where you get to go nuts and eat whatever you want – and I couldn’t do that anyway because my stomach is squished.  However I didn’t think that I’d spend these nine months STILL having to worry about my weight.  Kind of blows.  This month I ate a lot more conservatively, re-instating my pre-pregnancy “you don’t really need that, drink some water instead” policy, and as of this morning have only gained two pounds (it’s been three weeks since the ob visit, so I’m on track there).  But last night after a large (healthy) dinner it looked like I had gained five pounds and I was all freaked out.  I started to feel like there’s no way I’m going to be able to control this – I mean, if just eating normally still makes me gain five pounds a month, and I’ve got four to go…well, you do the math, plus whatever weight I’d gain naturally from the baby and all the other stuff in there.  It seems to me like with the baby growing most of the 2-3 pounds you gain would just be him and surrounding fluids, no?  However as often happens overnight I appear to have lost three pounds (this is something only Type A people like me who weigh themselves constantly know – you gain & lose about two-three pounds every day.  So when people brag about having lost two pounds in some diet, I try to keep my mouth shut about how everyone does, every day).  Still, kind of resenting that I need to worry about this stuff still.  No rest for the wicked, huh?

I think I have been able to identify my first actual craving.  So in case my son asks some day, I can tell him, “with you, son, I craved grapefruits.”  Yep.  Hadn’t thought much about them until the lady who does my yard (or rather, appears in my yard from time to time, pulls some weeds, and then demands money – but the arrangement works for me, so I let it go on) gave me some grapefruits from the neighbor’s tree that hangs over my yard.  Wanting something for dessert that was healthy the other night, I tucked into one.  Girrrrrl…it’s almost like I heard Madeleine Kahn singing in my head, “ah, sweet mystery of life, at last I’ve found you!”  I immediately ate two more (they were tiny, in my defense) and the next day I ran out to buy some grapefruit juice, which I have been drinking every day in addition to eating the actual fruit.  Last night at about 4 AM I was this close to busting out my fruit picker and going out in my yard to pull down a few more (I did it when I got up).  It’s especially odd because in the first trimester I was completely turned off by anything even remotely sour – even yogurt grossed me out.  But for now anyway it’s all about grapefruit.  Let me just say I’m glad a) I live in a region where grapefruit grows and is in season…and my neighbor has a tree full of it, and b) grapefruit is good for you.  I could have this kind of insane craving for chocolate or cookie dough or ice cream or something.  And apparently it’s a common craving, too.

So Monday I have a *very* early appointment with the midwife at Kaiser a couple of my friends have used.  As usual I’m not sure what to expect – will it be the quickie weight/urine/Doppler visit in and out, or will we sit down for a chat?  Will we go over my NT results, or my gender scan results?  Should I still be worried?  Nobody has contacted me, and it’s been three weeks since I gave the final blood test for the NT scan, and nobody called about the gender scan results, either, which were a week ago.  Will she even have access to this information?  Would Kaiser screw up and NOT tell me if there were something wrong, being as there’s always the chance of human error?  So many times in life when we’re in some area we’re not familiar with, the people who are tell us, “oh, it goes like this,” and then half the time they’re wrong.  So I never assume anything.

Today I took the big step and called Carsdirect to see about a new car.  Or rather submitted an online application for a price and they’re supposed to call me any minute.  I’m nervous – it’s a big step, and an expensive one – but to have a new car would be such a load off my mind.  I discovered last night that the car I want, despite common wisdom, actually costs hardly at all less at a year old than it does new.  So I had been looking only at 2010s and 2011s and dismayed over the 30,000 + mileages on most of them, then figured why don’t I check out the 2012s?  And they were the same prices!  So, the heck with it.  No miles and 2012 it is.  The 2012 is a much better car, too, with lots of new goodies.  Carsdirect got me this car six years ago and it was a great experience – no haggling, just “ok, we have your car, go pick it up at…” and that was it.  I have zero patience for haggling with car dealers.  It’s like being in India all over again.