The f-you button

So for some time now I’ve enjoyed the sociological phenomenon known as “how the introduction of Facebook into our lives makes us think everyone’s lives are awesome except ours”.  My friend and I refer to it as Bragbook.  And I freely admit that I, too, have used it for this purpose.  To make my life look awesome when it’s really just as non-awesome as everyone else’s.  All of our lives are about pretty much the same things – bills, worries about work, worries about loved ones, trips to JiffyLube.  Yet if you were from another planet and used Facebook to get a gauge on humanity, you’d think all that ever happens to us is engagements, being in and out of relationships, amazing international travel, birthdays, and sonograms.  Oh, and adorable children doing cute things in cute outfits, and behaving perfectly.  Few people post videos of their kids having a meltdown at the grocery store.  And yet this kind of stuff happens in real life.  A LOT. 

My friends and I decided last night that Facebook needs to add, next to the little “thumbs-up” Like icon, a tiny hand with the middle finger up called the “f-you button”.  Then you can “f-you” a post, or “un-f-you” a few minutes later if you change your mind.  For me the top f-you posts would be:  the engagement announcements, the millionth “this is what I just cooked” announcements, and the relentless God praising or Bible quoting.  I know for many of you the “I’m pregnant!” followed by the obligatory posting of the early ultrasound picture (or even worse, replacement of the woman’s own profile picture with the ultrasound picture) would rate a big, fat, f-you icon.  It is for this very reason that I have been radio silent about my pregnancy on Facebook.  Part of it as you know is to avoid the many questions that are brought up by a single woman announcing her pregnancy…but part of it is to avoid that wrath that I know exists out there, and that I certainly participate in from time to time.  So, I understand it, but would like to avoid it being directed at me as much as possible.  So my Facebook posts tend to announce basic every day things – some complaints, some *minor* brags, but no day-to-day updates on my pregnancy.  I leave that for here.

So speaking of day-to-day updates, had a minor freak out yesterday when I noticed that already, not even at the halfway mark, I am starting to get uncomfortable.  Sleeping has been a challenge (and I can still sleep on my stomach – can’t imagine what losing that position will be like), my digestive system is all in an uproar (nausea returned for a few days – not very pleasant), and I find it hard to pick things up off the floor or bend over or put on shoes.  It’s not that I have a huge belly yet, but I just feel so incredibly FULL all of the time.  My legs jerk from RLS whenever I settle in anywhere, and I am extremely tired after just a few errands or a little work.  When I think that this is supposed to be the best time of pregnancy and the third trimester will be all this plus a lot more…well, it scares me a little, to be honest.  I often think of those three months early next year – January, February, and March, and how hard it’s going to be for me to do even basic things, and how the reality of giving birth will be pushed right in my face, and I admit it makes me hyperventilate a little.  I see third trimester pregnant women all glowy and boppin’ around – but I don’t think this’ll be me.  It might be age, or it might be general fitness levels, or it might just be me.  But this pregnancy has been challenging, I won’t lie.  Not that it hasn’t had its moments, but it’s been physically difficult. 

With all that said, though, I had my first sleep through the night last night in ages and woke up feeling pretty good – no nausea so far today, and I seem to have some energy.  So maybe it was just a little hormone surge I was experiencing.  Also Halloween tends to put me on edge because in New York in the 80s it was like WWIII – if you left your apartment on Halloween, be prepared to be chased by gangs of marauding teenagers, pelted with eggs, and otherwise terrorized.  I was terrified to go out in my (not so great) neighborhood yesterday to run some errands but found it peaceful as ever – apart from the occasional cute toddler dressed up like a pumpkin you wouldn’t even have known what day it was.  I feel like I can relax a little now.   

Anyway I have two more months of the 2^nd trimester – and I find out the gender day after tomorrow! – so things should be looking up for a while.