Not! No, today I was interviewed for a potential reality show “on a popular women’s network” (which could only be Lifetime, Oxygen, or OWN) called “Single & Pregnant”. I found the casting call on the Los Angeles thread of my WTE app a few days ago and sent an e-mail. Originally it sounded like they wanted women who were just divorced or abandoned by boyfriends, so I sent my story with a “I don’t know if this is the kind of story you wanted, but…” caveat, and to my delight the agent called me and they did a little taped interview here at my house just now. I was glad that their questions were very basic and not leading – I would have been kind of turned off if I felt they wanted to “shape” my story into some weird, pathetic thing, like that I was desperate for a man or was sad and lonely in some way or something. But they seemed to be on board with the whole happy & single & pregnant thing, so good. Now they edit a reel together and the producers pick who they want. So I may not be picked because they just don’t like my face. Or I may be picked and the show will never materialize. Can I tell you how often I’ve been approached over the last 10+ years by people wanting to make a documentary or reality show about my dance event, and nothing has EVER come of any of it, after countless interviews and tapings and borrowing of my old footage and time spent and lunches? Nothing, not one thing. So odds are nothing will come of this. But it sure is fun to think about.
Mainly I would like to show that this “method” of family building is not weird or creepy or a last resort for losers. I’d like to put a positive face on the SMC world – that we can actually be really happy and content in our choice and have no regrets; that we can be normal and (somewhat) emotionally healthy, that we’re not going to depend on our children to fix what’s “broken” in us or fulfill all our emotional needs. I know for me if I’d had any kind of role model at all in this SMC world (well, other than the women brave enough to start organizations and/or write books, you know who you are!) it would have made the “thinking” period a lot easier (although truth be told it was pretty easy for me). I feel like the SMC world is so common and yet so hidden because, like infertility, people just don’t talk about it. Well, I want to talk about it!
So this could go one of many ways. It could go absolutely nowhere (most likely). I could shoot the show but then it could never air. I could shoot the show, it could air, but nobody would see it, and it would be just a vague memory of this crazy thing I did that one time. Or I could shoot the show, it could air, and could change my life. I would love it if I could be a spokesperson of sorts for the SMC lifestyle – maybe my story could give hope to women getting on in years who thought because they never met anyone decent that they could never be mothers, and maybe even prevent women from consciously/unconsciously using men as live sperm donors just because they want kids so badly, but really don’t care about the relationship. If nothing else I would hope it opens people’s eyes to the reality that there are lots of ways to live your life and lots of kinds of families and it’s all ok.
In other news it is wicked hot here for a couple of days so I am taking this opportunity to heat up the pool. It probably won’t warm up in time to swim today (69 degrees this morning…brrr) but maybe by tomorrow I can get it to a nice mid-80s temp and have a lovely day by the pool in mid October. This is the time of year I love LA!
Been enjoying Radio Ga Ga lately. Had one night where I’d had a huge meal and the heartbeat was very faint and couldn’t get a read, but told myself not to panic and tried again a couple of hours later and it was fine. Amazed that I still have those moments of sheer paranoia, but I guess that’s normal. A friend who I knew some years ago had a fairly late miscarriage told me she was halfway through her 2nd trimester, ate some weird cheese, threw up for a week and then lost the baby. Ahhhh! It must have been that listeria infection that we’re warned about. Any question I had about continuing to eat my favorite farmer’s market goat cheese has now been answered. I remember when that happened with her and it was really awful – but I didn’t know the cheese connection. So from now on I’m not eating cheese unless it’s as hard as my head and/or has been processed up the ying-yang.
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