As predicted, there was no ultrasound today, damn it. When I asked if I could elect to have one, they looked at the clock and said no, it was too late, all the techs had gone home and it wasn’t in this building, etc etc. Kind of reminds me of my earlier struggles with my clinic not wanting to do ultrasounds on weekends or holidays. What are ultrasounds, anyway, some kind of highly specialized super-secret thing or something? Jeez. At this point I could run one on myself and know what I was looking at!
So basically today’s first visit consisted of having to drink a hideous orange drink all the way down really quickly (some kind of glucose tolerance thing), which then proceeded to make me so sick I thought I was going to die, while I had to sit there for an hour while they painstakingly typed all of the information I gave them ten days ago into the computer (umm…couldn’t you have done that ten days ago…?) and then accidentally delete everything and start all over (they were training someone). All while I paced around the room wondering where the best corner to throw up in would be. Then had to listen to lectures about soft cheeses and undercooked meats (I’m a 39 year old woman who got herself pregnant with frozen sperm…I think I know a thing or two about this stuff). I asked them about my prenatals, ginger pills, B6, if they were all ok and safe, but didn’t really get any answers. Then they told me I had to wait an additional hour before I could have my blood drawn! This plus the disappointment of no ultrasound almost pushed me over the edge.
So I went outside and walked around the block – and Kaiser Sunset is in one of the shittiest neighborhoods in all of Los Angeles. I was surrounded by guys doing drug deals on bikes and homeless people camping out on church steps. Yep, I thought to my little raspberry, this is going to be your first look at the world. Have fun with that. Luckily my sister called and got me out of my head a little bit and I started to feel better. I think just saying out loud, to another person, “I’m at my wit’s end, I can’t take much more of this or I’m going to lose my mind,” somehow felt good.
Went and did the blood and urine thing. I expect all kinds of unpleasantness to pop up in my blood tests, considering how off my eating has been. Whatever!
Now I’m feeling almost 100% better. I love how this illness thing just comes and goes when it pleases. No, I couldn’t have felt well in the office where I should have been pleasant to the people who were trying to help me but instead was a total drama queen; NOW when I’m home alone I feel all perky and ready for dinner. Jesus Christ.
So I have my first “real” appointment on Monday; apparently this was just a bullshit one. Monday, after I’ve already told my whole family the news, with no ultrasound to back it up. Oh, well. Things just didn’t go the way I wanted them to, it’s ok. At least I survived today (barely) and did what needed to be done. Also they said there is a prescription drug for the sickness which I will definitely look into on Monday. There has to be some relief from this, there just has to be.
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