Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Leaps and Bounds

For the first time since B was a newborn (or possibly ever...?), I had to leave him at home all day with a sitter. Normally daytime jaunts are at weekends at the Baby Kennel, and nights with sitters at my house now are pretty much only when he's already asleep. I got kind of a sense what it's like to be a working mom - a day away and then home for dinner & bedtime with the kid. Also the weirdness of explaining all the quirks of your house and routines - feed him this, not that, use this sponge, not that one, etc. At one point the sitter texted to ask why there was a strange old woman picking my avocados in the back yard. Long story, I wrote back.

What did B do today while I was out? He walked. ALL DAY. The sitter kindly caught him on video doing it - we're trying to figure out how to get the files to me since they're too big to email. Yesterday he only took two, three steps max before dropping down. Today he walked across entire rooms! I had no idea he'd progress this fast. Here we go-!

I kind of dig it because it means no more being on top of him every two seconds to make sure he isn't putting things in his mouth, and no more hands on floors. Walking feels more manageable than crawling to me. Of course, I say that now.

So now things have changed again. It is time to use my baby gates and set up areas of the house for him to cruise around in. I feel the playpen's days are numbered, which makes me shudder. But hey, I've dealt with developmental changes before; I'll just adjust as I always do! I still have the octagon gate set that I ordered probably eight months ago sitting in the box - now may be the time to use it. And maybe utilize the playroom in the mornings if he won't sit in the playpen. I'll play it by ear.

Called the clinic this morning, but they did not call me back. I hate it when they do that. But it did occur to me that I may not be able to try when I want to - that this whole getting my cycles back on track thing could take a while. I don't like it, but it is what it is. If only I didn't have to shut down all fall and winter!! I have to, though - to be at the end of a pregnancy during my event next year could be dangerous, and having a brand new baby would be disastrous as well. So I'm out Oct-Jan. I could maybe try in Feb but it's not ideal; March-June is really ideal. I hate that I have so little time due to age - I hate that I have to worry that the last of my viable eggs could be spent while I'm stuck waiting around. But, I tried the earliest I possibly could - I didn't want to wean B before one year, and I went in the minute I thought my fertility was back, as I promised myself. So, I have nothing to regret. I just have to prepare myself that I may have to miss the window of this summer. Canceled cycles are a particularly sucky but to be expected part of TTC. 

Speaking of sucky parts, my boobs are getting worse and worse. The left one is now all lumpy. I can hardly even pick B up and I'm sure he's wondering what's wrong. I have started using cold compresses which help a lot, and will buy a cabbage at the farmer's market tomorrow. I thought the cabbage leaf thing was just an old wives' tale or just something to use that's cold, but apparently they do contain certain chemicals that help sore drying up boobs. Interesting.

1 comment:

  1. I can't imagine being in your place of having decided, after much thought, to T42 & then to be faced with having to wait even longer. I hope it all falls into place for you.