High anxiety

I had a bit of an anxiety attack yesterday. I believe it was triggered by the stress of lining up for the summer camp signups and how stressful and disorganized it was - people who got there way after me were helped first, and I had to decide if I should make a scene about it or just trust that there were enough spots for everyone. But I absolutely abhor situations like that where there’s a time crunch and everyone’s competing for limited space, and with all that going on you’re required to focus on reams of paperwork (including archaic information like when was your kid’s last tetanus shot and what’s his pediatrician’s phone number). Whenever a friend tells me I just have to sign my kid up for some camp or activity but the spots are super limited and you have to rush to try to get in, I instantly say, “I’m out”. That’s how much I hate that crap.

Suffice it to say we did get in for all the weeks we wanted. If we continue there next year I’ll know to stay way on top of it. It was sheer luck I stumbled upon the opening online when I did - I had gotten no information about it, and every call I made to the rec center went unanswered. But I figure the kids’ summer camp days are limited anyway - they typically age out at twelve, which will be Bobby next year. I know they have CIT programs and things for older kids, but I don’t think he’s interested in that. I’ll have to figure out what people do with their young teenagers all summer. The idea of them sitting on devices for two months is not ok.

So I was already stressed about hotel stuff, school stuff, and general event anxiety, and then I had that heart-pounding camp sign up experience, and even though I had a long walk right after (strategically planned) I couldn’t shake the adrenaline. I was super anxious the rest of the day. There’s a lot of high stakes things happening at the moment, and for all of them I just have to wait, and they are life changing, so it’s hard to just “relax”. 

The contract lady did answer my email about what I wanted as compensation for moving my dates and she said “excellent!” and that they could have an answer for me as early as tomorrow. The fact that she said “excellent” says to me what I asked for was not ridiculous, and in fact made me think I probably should have asked for more, ha ha. My prediction? I doubt they’ll just accept my offer; I think they’ll try to come back with some hybrid deal of less money and some concessions, like, we won’t charge you for some bullshit charge next year that was always free before and is basically not even a thing. Or they’ll just turn me down. But I doubt that. I think something could happen, even if it’s not entirely what I want. 

Of course my accountant never answered me about my tax questions so I think I might have to set up a consultation through the office. I’m getting those answers, whether by hook or by crook.

Bobby keeps asking whether he’s actually going to that other school or not, and yesterday I just told him he’s not. He seems fairly blasé about it - I said, “you’d rather graduate with your friends, right?” and he said yes. So, there you have it. I’m worried I’ve jeopardized the points he would have gotten this year by applying to that school and now turning it down…but there’s a chance being “highly gifted” pushes him to the top of the list for jr high anyway (my question about this to the magnet counselor has remained unanswered). 

Having not heard from the desert contractor, I checked in yesterday, and he said they’re set to start Thursday. I sent pictures and information about where the keys are hidden. Now we just wait. I wish it were all getting done at once, but it’s not. I think it’s windows and insulation now and walls later. Also there’s a chance they’ll take one look at our stove and say, “yeah, we can’t install this…” in which case I may just spring for another Home Depot generic one which at least I’ll know is new and up to safety standards. But after all we’ve been through with contractors in this place, I won’t believe anything until I see someone actually pull up in a truck on my security cameras on Thursday. I still feel like this could all go horribly wrong. Fingers crossed for a good result, finally, after two long years.