The Last Hurrah

Yesterday we returned from our Last Hurrah camping trip. I booked a KOA for the first time, at Lake Isabella, an area where the BF lived briefly as a teenager. We arrived at the KOA (privately owned campground) and were immediately disappointed - it turned out to be nowhere near the lake (I don’t know how I missed this while booking), and the campsites were tiny little driveway spots, all stacked together like horse stalls. So here we are setting up our tent a foot away from total strangers...in the time of coronavirus...I was not happy. We decided to stay one night and then go check out the state run sites that online had said “no reservations available”. The spot did have water and electric and a kitchen area and a playground, which were all great...but it had more of a “holiday camp” feel to it. I realized what I want when I go camping is isolation. 

Thankfully after touring around the lake and checking out every campsite we saw, we found tons and tons of spots - most where you just drive in and pay the “host” and pick wherever you want. It was wild - I’m so used to the more popular campgrounds being fully booked six months in advance. The BF assured me he remembered camping here as a kid and you never had to reserve anything and there were never many people. I think he’s right, even today. Of course it helped that it was during the week. But we found a beautiful isolated spot right on the water with nobody for miles at a place called Camp 9, so we (quite literally) pulled up stakes and moved over there. 

The lake itself was really for decoration only - it was low and full of toxic algae, so no swimming. Lakes are tricky here in SoCal. Water is so scarce here that most “lakes” are man-made reservoirs that can’t be swam in, and almost without exception they are freezing cold year round. Bit of a bummer, but in this case we found a couple of magical hot springs along the Kern River and spent our last day doing that, which was delightful. We also swam in the river a bit even though it was very cold. The best thing about this week was discovering that the Kern River is full of open campgrounds, swimming holes, and hot springs, and that it’s clear we could pack up any time we want and head up there on a whim. I see a lot of trips up there in our future. 

Even though it’s only mid-August - and weather wise, intense heat will last about two more months around here - there is a melancholy feeling of end of summer happening. I feel it slipping away, and it makes me sad, even though I know it must. We really sucked the marrow out of the bone of this summer, and I’m glad. 

The kids - “why do we always have to go camping??”

Me - “because I’m trying to make your childhood fucking magical!!!” (in my head)

I think I’ve instilled in them a love-hate relationship with camping. They’re not fond of the bugs and sketchy toilets - and would much rather be home on their PS4. But like most children, they just go along, because they know the adults have the power. I appreciate that.

There is so much to do and so much happening before school starts next week that I am full of anxiety about it. We have received four emails from B’s teacher - each correcting the last - with complicated instructions on what’s going to happen next week; we have received zero communication from T’s teacher  which makes me nervous, since I heard a lot of 1st grade parents complaining about how checked out the 1st grade teachers were last spring. We missed Theo’s equipment pick up day, and we need to start logging in and setting up things for both kids, and I’m super anxious about all of it. Normally my anxiety would be about sending kids out into the world without my protection - now it’s managing complicated technology issues. I don’t know which is worse, really.

One thing for sure is at least the BF will be home for this transition period. He has interviewed for a few printing jobs but they are mostly in the middle of the night, so he has thankfully turned them down. Part of me has begun to wish he’ll get a job just so I’ll have one less person in this house constantly - but I really do need help at least in the beginning, and at least until my virtual event wraps up.

What happens after Labor Day is a huge void for me. I can’t plan for next year’s event, so I will have nothing to do except walk these kids through their school day. I am attempting to fill this void for myself by trying to learn languages, maybe even an instrument. I’m going to have to have my own projects or I’ll lose my mind, especially if getting out of the house for exercise or meetings friends is off the table. I don’t expect these kids to be back in school before spring, if even that is a possibility. I don’t expect to be able to plan my event before then, either, so next year if I can run at all, will probably have to be thrown together in just a few months. Sigh.