Midsummer

It is August. I feel like this summer has flown by much faster than others - just yesterday was the kids’ last day of school; tomorrow I go to pick up school supplies. I know people always say the summer has flown by, but yeah - this time, it’s for real.

Still no word about afterschool, but we may even start school before we hear anything. Or it may be a month or two or three or more before there are spots. Who knows? I still feel like most likely we’ll hear something next week and it will be good news. But I’m preparing mentally just in case. Maybe it’ll be like when our babysitter said she couldn’t do any of these weekend trips for me anymore - it seemed like the worst calamity on earth at the time, but it ended up being a good thing; it saves me a ton of money, and the boys get to spend time with the BF and he’s forced to not work so much. We’ll see.

I feel like the event is relatively under control, but I also know about false “calm before the storm” moments. There is still a ton of work to do, most of which has to wait until the last minute, when it will be hot and I’ll be stressed and may have kids home at 2 every day instead of 6. So...yeah. One bit of good news scheduling is that for the first time in years I will not get my period the day the event starts. What a delight that will be not to be in a murderous hormone-induced rage for several days before the event. 

I’m glad the boys have enjoyed their camp, but I don’t think I’ll be sending them there again. Every time I go there it seems like it’s just a bunch of bored teenagers hanging out - nobody really seems to be in charge, and I feel like the kids are picking up some bad habits/language there. But at the same time I’m very mindful of the fact that, with the exception of our very white, very privileged elementary school, the demographic of our actual neighborhood is very different (working class Latino) and I think it’s important for the boys to be a part of that. I grew up in rough places with rough people and it teaches you a few things - mainly, that it’s not all about you. I like that my kids are often the only white kids in a situation. I think that’s important. And the camp doesn’t feel unsafe particularly, otherwise they wouldn’t be there. But I’d like them to be somewhere that maybe isn’t quite so Lord of the Flies in structure. Thankfully I’ll have a whole year to figure this out.

For now I’m doing my little workouts (have not lost a pound), slowly pecking away at event-related work, making plans for the future, and just taking things day by day.