The Big One

I can't believe how much happier I am now that I have been straight with my bandleader and he responded in such a gracious way about my hiatus on traveling. It really weighed heavily on me last week and threw me into a bit of a depression. But that's done with and I feel like I can move forward!

And what's next? The Big One, which is Bumpus' birthday in two months. I actually wrote about this some weeks ago but saved it as a draft, which is something I've never done before (I am very much a write it and publish it kind of gal). Other than a surprise party for a friend ten years ago I have never planned a birthday party for someone else before. It's odd because it's a party that won't be appreciated, or remembered, by the recipient, yet everyone wants that cute picture of themselves at one with birthday cake all over their face, so it must be acknowledged. And of course I have no intention of ignoring the day my son was born, but I wasn't sure how big to go and have been vacillating for weeks about it.

A book club friend recently put on one of the most amazing kids' parties I'd ever been to - it was fall, so caterers making grilled cheese sandwiches to order and tomato soup, a whole yard set up with different play areas for different aged kids (B was very fond of the ball pit); it was just great, and all (except for the caterer I'm sure) clearly done on a budget but with a lot of creativity. I wish I could do something like this, but unfortunately B's March birthday could be freezing and pouring rain, and I have no usable outdoor space that doesn't involve the pool.

My sister will visit and possibly my erstwhile stepmother as well, so I could just have it be the four of us and a cupcake. And that would be fine. But my friends have started asking if I'm having a party, and I do feel like some people actually want to go to his party and celebrate this milestone. Despite my fears to the contrary, I don't think they would consider it a drag or an obligation, not this first one, anyway. In the future I may only invite parents of similar-aged kids, but for this first one I think it's ok to invite adults with no kids (it's hardly like Bumpus has "friends" at this age).

Anyway I am going to try to rent a cheap outdoor space that hopefully has a covered area in case of rain and just do an inexpensive pizza and cake party, since just in case half the people bail like they did for my Christmas party I don't want to be stuck with tons of uneaten food, nor do I want to labor for days in the kitchen only to have to throw out all my efforts. And besides, who doesn't like pizza?

I think the biggest challenge for me will be not taking it personally when a bunch of people "just can't make it". I can't promise I'll be able to do this. I've already lost one long-standing friendship when I felt she had insulted my son (although of course there were other issues there); I will be hurt if people are lame and don't show. And I know if it does pour rain then a lot of people won't show, which is the Southern California way after all. But I think really the only thing to do is invite the world - everyone with similar-aged babies I know, plus the group that came to my shower and are close to me and invested in B's existence - and hope for the best.

In the meantime I can work on cute cheap ideas from Pinterest to make it fun and entertaining for adults. I will have no money at all in March so it's going to have to be done cheaply.

It's a big day. In our ancestors' time it meant that this baby survived the most vulnerable time of its life - that this one might just make it. I want to make sure this moment is acknowledged in style, and B is surrounded by people who love him.