Tonight I have my first post-partum singing gig. I was hoping to squeeze into a tiny vintage dress so everyone can say how awesome I am...but I don't think I'm quite there yet. I still vacillate between 142-144 pounds (pre-pregnancy was 140) and I'm hoping to get to 135 at some point. Right now I'm just enjoying the sugar a little too much.
Bumpus has taken on some odd eating habits. Maybe some of my experienced mom readers can tell me what's up. So thankfully he's sleeping in longer increments now (usually 3-4 hours, even did 6 the other night) BUT this only follows a massive eating binge in the evenings that involves nearly non-stop munching from nipple to nipple for sometimes five hours, leaving me so sore it brings tears to my eyes. Is it the six week growth spurt? Maybe. But it's pretty painful. I'm supposed to pump for tonight and I haven't been able to bear the thought of it because my boobs are so sore. Ugh. He just fusses and fusses and I try every alternative but finally have no choice but to put him back on the boob. I wonder is he not getting enough? At other times just one normal feeding seems to be enough. Is it a phase that will pass? Sure hope so.
Despite having missed out on my social activities yesterday, I had a lovely day with the baby. Just simple stuff - walking the dog, grocery shopping, sitting in the yard to read my new book club book. It's so weird to think this is my life now.
How is it different than my old life? Well, not very, which I think is why the adjustment hasn't been too hard for me - I'm used to odd hours, a lot of time alone, etc. But I have noticed one thing lately. "It" is gone. That sad undercurrent of "when am I going to meet someone, am I ever going to have kids?" which followed me everywhere. It didn't ruin my life or anything - well, not once I decided not to let it and to live the life I did have to the fullest - but it was always just "there". It would rear up on holidays or anytime another friend announced an engagement or pregnancy (which, when you're on Facebook, is pretty much every day). When I think about my amazing international trips - Greece, Egypt, Israel, China, Vietnam, Cambodia, India, Nepal - as much as I loved these trips, I do remember a certain loneliness about them. You have a lot of time to ponder your life on trips like that, and on tours everyone is in couples. As is much of life once you're past 35 - couples, families. That's the whole world all of a sudden. All the fun loving single people vanish. That sad undercurrent had become such a part of me that it took me a while to figure out that it was missing - something just felt different. And it looked something like this:
Bumpus has taken on some odd eating habits. Maybe some of my experienced mom readers can tell me what's up. So thankfully he's sleeping in longer increments now (usually 3-4 hours, even did 6 the other night) BUT this only follows a massive eating binge in the evenings that involves nearly non-stop munching from nipple to nipple for sometimes five hours, leaving me so sore it brings tears to my eyes. Is it the six week growth spurt? Maybe. But it's pretty painful. I'm supposed to pump for tonight and I haven't been able to bear the thought of it because my boobs are so sore. Ugh. He just fusses and fusses and I try every alternative but finally have no choice but to put him back on the boob. I wonder is he not getting enough? At other times just one normal feeding seems to be enough. Is it a phase that will pass? Sure hope so.
Despite having missed out on my social activities yesterday, I had a lovely day with the baby. Just simple stuff - walking the dog, grocery shopping, sitting in the yard to read my new book club book. It's so weird to think this is my life now.
How is it different than my old life? Well, not very, which I think is why the adjustment hasn't been too hard for me - I'm used to odd hours, a lot of time alone, etc. But I have noticed one thing lately. "It" is gone. That sad undercurrent of "when am I going to meet someone, am I ever going to have kids?" which followed me everywhere. It didn't ruin my life or anything - well, not once I decided not to let it and to live the life I did have to the fullest - but it was always just "there". It would rear up on holidays or anytime another friend announced an engagement or pregnancy (which, when you're on Facebook, is pretty much every day). When I think about my amazing international trips - Greece, Egypt, Israel, China, Vietnam, Cambodia, India, Nepal - as much as I loved these trips, I do remember a certain loneliness about them. You have a lot of time to ponder your life on trips like that, and on tours everyone is in couples. As is much of life once you're past 35 - couples, families. That's the whole world all of a sudden. All the fun loving single people vanish. That sad undercurrent had become such a part of me that it took me a while to figure out that it was missing - something just felt different. And it looked something like this:
Well said about that undercurrent.So very true.
ReplyDeleteAs for the cluster feeds, I would guess it's a growth spurt. They always thru me for a loop & I always felt sure I wasn't producing enough. I don't know how many times I beat myself up for not knowing why Elena was so cranky only to realize she was hungry. Hopefully that's it for you & Robert. & hope the nipples feel better soon.