An extra pair of hands

My sister is here. Today we had a lovely leisurely day going to The Trails restaurant in Griffith Park, then a steep hike up to the Observatory. I made us Indian food and we watched the George Harrison documentary on HBO.

It's an interesting dynamic having another adult in the house who is genetically programmed to love my child. So I don't have to wonder if she wants to hold him, even if he fusses - of course she does! It was odd spending nearly an hour cooking without a screaming baby in a swing; I'm so used to just fending for myself and having to figure things out. It's peculiar having the option of someone here to help. It does show how adaptable you are - you rise or sink to the occasion, depending. All the people who have told me they could never be a single parent (or a parent at all), I think, "well, you could if you had to." It's really not that hard!

This morning I got two Mother's Day cards out of the blue, and a huge box on my porch. It was a keepsake kit from of all people my old nemesis, The Friend Who Unintentionally Makes Me Feel My Life is Shit. A cute frame with a kit for hand prints and foot prints, with a personalized name plate. I opened it and said to my sister, "ok, I'm an asshole." I haven't mentioned this friend in a while on here because I'm just not in that bitter place anymore, and she's been so über supportive of me that I feel pretty ashamed of how jealous I once was...although looking back at all the circumstances I can kind of still understand why I was like that. Also the irony is, after over a year of marriage and what must be two years off birth control, they are still not pregnant. She seems to have a very positive attitude about it - she is one of these people who just assumes everything will work out, whereas if I were her I'd automatically go to the dark place first. But I wonder as the months pass how she really feels about not getting pregnant; and of course I can't ask because it's not polite. But the whole thing makes me feel all weird so I haven't mentioned it here until now.

One f-d up thing happened today. Along with the nice Mother's Day greetings I got another freakin' bill from Kaiser, this one for a whopping $1900 for Robert's NICU stay. Apparently the second he was born he automatically took on his own deductible and yearly maximum out of pocket, which was eaten by the two days in the NICU. Which brings the grand total for this birth, which I thought was going to be $1500, to over $6000. Ugh! I called to complain about it - I was specifically told he would only take on his own charges above and beyond my personal bill if he had to stay in the hospital longer than me. I was right there with him, but apparently this doesn't matter. I am still boiling with rage about it, but what can I do? Pay it and pray to God that's the last of the bills. And pray we both get MediCal so I can make up for this huge bloodsuck of a bill. Did I mention I never want to do this again? I mentioned that, right?

In other news, we had fun with the IPhone reverse camera angle thingy: