Monday, November 21, 2011

The salad days

The weekend was pretty much as expected – except a bit more physically demanding.  Which begs the question – am I actually physically impaired at this moment, or is it more about fear of exerting myself/not having exercised in so long that I feel all lousy and out of shape?  I feel like I COULD do a lot more physically than I actually do, but I am afraid to “push it”.  It always gets back to that thing of, “well, you just don’t want to take any chances.”  So the weekend on Catalina involved lots of hauling of crap around, lots of walking, lots of walking up and down multiple flights of very steep stairs, and sitting in icy cold rooms.  It also involved sharing a green room with about fifteen men, all of whom turned the one bathroom into something akin to the Worst Toilet in Scotland from Trainspotting.  And when you have to pee just about every five minutes, and the bathroom almost immediately runs out of both soap AND toilet paper, and you’re already on edge because you’re exhausted and have been climbing stairs and frozen to the bone all day…well, let’s just say it was pretty unpleasant.  I finally lost it when at 2:30 AM we arrived back at the Long Beach landing and I could NOT find the entrance to the parking area because every door was locked because it was the middle of the night, and I started swearing like a sailor.  That felt kind of good, though, I have to admit.  As did the home made split pea soup and bad TV in my pyjamas about an hour and a half later. 

The best part of the trip (as is usually the case) was quality time with my band mates, in which I FINALLY got to tell them about my pregnancy.  They were, amazingly, clueless, which fueled my already ramped up paranoia that everyone just thinks I’ve been getting fat (again why I even care about this is another question).  At any rate the reactions were delightful, even from the one super right wing Christian guy who I was a little worried about.  It was especially fun to talk pregnancy stuff with our young drummer whose wife is about nine weeks along right now.  It’s always so heartwarming to me to see new dads and their enthusiasm – he says he’ll just be going about his day and find himself wandering off and daydreaming about the baby, that he wants to talk about it all the time but most of the guys he works with just don’t get it.  I think this is fantastic, and amazingly no, it doesn’t make me sad that I don’t have a man in my life who’s as excited about my baby as I am.  It actually gives me hope for the future of mankind that there are so many dedicated, committed new dads out there.  Hopefully my son will be one of these someday!

The last two days I have been running around like a madwoman driving in traffic and rain doing all these errands that simply cannot wait.  Tonight however I ditched out on a free screening to just get in bed and CHILL.  Tomorrow I have to run around like a crazy person again doing all those errands that simply cannot wait until after Thanksgiving, and then Wednesday AM I’m on a flight to Massachusetts.  And as much as I’m looking forward to it and can’t wait to see my family, I expect it to be entirely over-stimulating and exhausting as holiday trips always are.  Just wait until I get to do this with a toddler – woop de doo!  At least for now I can lie in bed with the puppy, watch subversive documentaries on Netflix, and know the baby’s just chillaxing in my belly; no feeding, no changing, no comforting required.  Ah, the salad days.  I’m going to miss these, on some level.

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