Last 4th in a free country…?

I’m not unaware that my petty car problems pale in comparison to the massive upheaval currently occurring in our country right now. I just haven’t had space in my brain to really focus on any of it (especially when, other than voting and local grass roots stuff, there isn’t a goddamn thing I can personally do about it). Once again, we’re here on our country’s Independence Day, possibly facing the last one with an actual democratically elected President instead of a dictator. The level of anxiety among my leftist friends is at an all time high. 

This morning the H and I had a productive conversation about Biden stepping down. I still think it’s highly unlikely, however, he says, “let’s see how this plays out over the next couple of weeks”. Everyone’s watching the polls, and the polls, for Biden, are not good. Shockingly, Harris, the only realistic replacement, is actually doing better. I personally would love to see Harris take over, and I believe Biden could pass the wand to her with minimal loss of face. I find that idea very exciting. However…it may not happen. And I need to prepare for that. It’s hard to focus on celebrating today with all this swirling around.

I spent another ENTIRE DAY dealing with my car yesterday, only to be right back at square one - the car needs an $800 battery replacement, and the battery won’t be here until the day before I leave for Korea (I leave Wednesday). Thankfully I have a loaner car, which I’ll just return on Tuesday if the battery doesn’t arrive. The timing is terrible. I hope it all works out. 

Today is the first day I’ve been able to just relax in weeks. The kids are in the pool; the H is working. Later we’ll go check out some fireworks. Tomorrow we have to be out of the house all day for the cleaning lady, so I’ll sacrifice one more precious work day to take the kids to a water park as promised, then the kids go to summer camp on Sunday. Then I have two kid-free days to frantically get work done before I go to Korea for a week; when I get home, these long days of kids at home will be over - they’ll be at their rec center summer camp all day every day for four weeks, then school starts. I’m going to have to really hustle - I’ve never been so behind on tasks before. It fills me with anxiety - and yet, much like our political nightmare, I know there’s not much I can do other than continue to march forward.

When I took my friend to the Integratron a few weeks ago for a sound bath, the whole place smelled sweetly of Palo santo, which I love, so I bought some in New Mexico. I’ve been smelling the cedar-y, minty sticks every time I get anxious. It seems to be helping, if only for the placebo effect of stopping activity to take a minute to breathe deeply and quiet my mind. I told my head judge I’m going to keep giant logs of it on stage at my event and we can all just bury our faces in it all weekend.