Legal

Today was a rare moment to nab the F for the two things he needed to be a part of re: wedding planning - the notarization of the prenuptial agreement, and the marriage license. So at 9 AM we took off to accomplish these things, plus ring shop for him and get him his second booster (I’m not eligible for two more months). When we got to the license office, however, we discovered to our horror that it was by appointment only (I don’t know how I missed this - but to be fair that’s a new pandemic thing) and appointments were full until after our wedding date. After panicking and googling and calling we finally found a 3rd party marriage license office which could provide us with one for 3x the cost, but right away, and reluctantly as they hadn’t meant to come in that day. We hit up the notary first, and thankfully the license appointment went smoothly. By this time we’d missed the vaccine appointment and there was no time left for ring shopping. I had a date to meet up with a friend at a lingerie shop to look for an undergarment for my dress, but she ended up not coming because the dress wasn’t ready, and the only undergarment they had that was suitable and fit was $300. Ugh. I bought it out of desperation, as the one I’d ordered on Amazon may not fit since I just guessed at my size, and won’t show up until the week of the wedding which may not allow time for attaching the underskirt as we have to. Or may not show up in time at all. I justified it to myself figuring I can wear it with other things so will get more than one day out of it. I feel like the money I’ve wasted on things I won’t end up using for this wedding is unreal. So many false starts and bad investments. I currently own a giant purple tulle skirt that cost $200 and that I won’t be wearing and can do absolutely nothing with. Among other things. 

But I did get home to find the simple, pretty 1940s wedding dress I’d ordered as a reception dress had arrived, and it’s lovely, and will be just the thing when I want to get out of my big poofy fantasy wedding dress and just be comfortable. I ordered a short veil for it and will sew it on to a little mid century bridal hat I’ve had forever. It will be the most bridey I’ll look that day. 

I remember seeing pictures of friends on FB with their marriage licenses and what a cool moment that looked like; I pictured it being very romantic and fun. Unfortunately because of my fuck up I was too embarrassed and stressed out to really enjoy it the way I wanted to; you know how it is, even if something gets resolved positively it’s hard not to still smart from the stress of realizing you’ve made a mistake and hustling to fix it. The F has had horrendous work stress for months now - breaking machines, supply chain issues that could put him out of business - he said he broke down and cried at work yesterday. So to say his mind isn’t in any of this is an understatement. Thankfully my mind is in it and I’m on top of things - except, apparently, making an appointment to get our license. 

Still and all, everything is moving along. My sister’s father, who was going to walk me down the aisle, had a seizure following a brain injury from a fall a few weeks ago, and has been hospitalized. Apparently he’s fine and in good spirits, but may not be cleared for travel. So he and his wife are most likely out. I worry that he’ll go downhill in the next three weeks and my sister and brother-in-law won’t come, either, leaving me with almost no family at my wedding. I think this is unlikely, but it’s still possible. We’re at the end now, so those who I’m chasing down to rsvp are mostly the people who were trying to make it work but can’t - one friend who moved to the east coast, one who has a family wedding at the same time, two who are still too afraid of covid to leave the house, two who just declined without explanation but I’m guessing it has to do with them being older and unable to make the trip. Most of the F’s small group of invitees aren’t coming. I feel bad for him. But we still have about 90 people all told, so right about where I had the original numbers. It’ll work out just fine.