Several emotionally triggering things have happened in the last couple of days. One, an old friend of mine has been suddenly texting me all these ways to cheat and get the vaccine early. I didn’t answer her, and then she asked a mutual friend to call to see if I was mad at her. I realized I’m mad at everyone who is currently cheating to get vaccines early when I may still have to wait two more months. But...in the last week or so, everyone, and I mean everyone I know has gotten their vaccine, and none of them meet the age requirement and many don’t meet any of the other requirements, either. Some may have stumbled into a leftover batch, some may have lied or at worst omitted the truth...who knows? All I know is I’m starting to feel like an idiot waiting for my turn like everyone else - especially when all these people tell me the place they got their vaccine, even Dodgers Stadium! - is virtually empty when they show up. Why are they not opening access up to more groups? At any rate, after some very contentious discussion with the BF (in which he did a complete 180 overnight), he went to check out one of the places recommended by my friend and said we should go over on Friday together when the kids are off school. It sounds like you show up at a certain time and wait for unused doses, but are almost guaranteed to get one. You have to fill out paperwork early in the morning and then come back. I don’t know if it will work out...the whole thing sounds kind of shady and I don’t really know how I feel about it. But with kids returning to school in three weeks I’m nervous about that extra exposure. It would be so dumb to get sick in April or May, at this point. So, yeah. Going to go take a chance.
In the middle of all the agide regarding vaccines and if we should or shouldn’t go for it, Bobby had a less-than-stellar zoom lesson with his violin teacher, and later she emailed to say she doesn’t want to work with him anymore, after five years. I can’t say I was shocked - the zoom lessons have been fairly messy, with Bobby spacing out and not being able to hear her and not staying focused in the way she would like. I had even started checking for other possible teachers, getting the feeling that, honestly, she’s not that great at keeping kids engaged. But being a mother, it was a big slap in the face. I’m still really hurt by it. I told him over dinner and he was pretty upset - probably more because he thought he’d be in trouble. I told him that I’d noticed she had a hard time keeping him interested and zoom was making everything way worse, and I understood that it wasn’t all his fault. The BF said he’d noticed she wasn’t that great with him and probably really shouldn’t be working with kids, or at least not rambunctious boys who require a whole different skill set than, say, the kind of quiet, compliant little girl I would have been. It sucks because I just paid for a month of lessons...but I think I’m going to tell her we’ll forfeit them and just take a break instead. She offered right away to refer us to someone she thought would be great for him, so I’ll take that. I’m avoiding returning her email right now because I’m too emotional. He’s been with her since he was four, for chrissakes. How much must she have hated her time with him that she decided to just get rid of us and not even care about the lost revenue? Ugh.
Then right in the middle of that I get a text from the desert realtor that our sale has “clouds” in it - meaning, the seller bought this property at auction, and he now has to do the work of getting all the heirs and spouses of the previous owners to sign off and revoke any claims on the property, or the property can’t be sold. Which could mean a variety of things - most likely, he won’t be able to do this, and we’ll have to move on. But how many months, and how many other opportunities, will I have to let go by before I myself decide I’m sick of waiting?? What a fucking disaster. Our mid-April closing date clearly won’t happen. The realtor texted me later that the owner said he’d be happy to do whatever it takes - I mean, after all, if he doesn’t do this work now he’ll never be able to sell this place, so it’s basically completely useless to him - so at least there’s that. But this could be the end of my desert dream. I could wait months for this place, only to have him decide it’s not worth it and never follow through, and then prices have gone through the roof and I’m priced out of the area already. Goddamn it.
Oh, and in the middle of all this my main dance instructors from Sweden said they have an offer for a job the same weekend as my event, so is my event happening? I had to let them go - I still have zero clue if I’ll be able to operate in five months or not. Which is another thing that will make my event less appealing if it turns out I have to run it at the last minute after all. Also - who the fuck is planning a dance event and hiring people right now???
I’m just over everything today. I got almost no sleep due to a massive wind storm that tore through town last night, I’m sick of dragging these kids through hours of school work every day, I’m sick of everything. I have to put a happy face on for poor B and his ninth birthday - I’m doing the absolute bare minimum, and I can barely even pull that off. I feel like a shit mother today. Well. At least we all get cake. Right?
No comments:
Post a Comment