Nobody knows anything

There’s talk - theoretical, of course - of schools opening in just weeks. However, I don’t see it happening for LAUSD. We need our teachers and staff immunized. It would be stupid to risk it now when we’re so close to that happening. And as much as I long for the return to school, I have to remember what all that actually entails - getting up an hour earlier, hustling kids into jackets and socks and shoes and backpacks and booster seats, making sure they have all their supplies (which will now include masks and other things) - plus no longer having the comfort of knowing my kids are safe at home. I definitely have mixed feelings about return to school. Also, it’s not like we’ll be back to full days - it’s possible only Theo will be allowed back, for one, and even that will only be a few hours a couple of days a week. Which all seems a bit pointless for the amount of trouble and risk. Still, I understand it can’t be any other way. What can you do? 

It’s been a long, boring week. I remember last year there was this social media trend of everyone complaining about how long January was; it makes me laugh sadly when I think about how good we had it and we didn’t even know it. Right around now we were watching the coronavirus in China with concern but not really thinking it would affect us - it’ll just be like SARS, right? It’ll affect those other, far away places. Not us. Never us. I’ll have my event, everything will be fine. Here I am a year later after 10 months of home schooling, one canceled event under my belt and a second one on the way, stuck at home with a frozen shoulder, not having seen a movie or a concert or gone dancing or eaten inside a restaurant for all that time, with no timeline of when any of those things can return. Other than Joe Biden being elected and kicking ass during his first week in office, it’s all been a nightmare. The only thing worse would be us getting sick, which is still a constant threat until we get access to the vaccine, which for me could still be as long as six months (luckily the BF is over 50 so he can probably get it in about a month). 

So, my oldest friend from NY is moving here on Sunday, which could be a huge game changer for me. I’m sad that his first impression of LA has to be during this fucking pandemic when it’s impossible to do anything except hike, and also when we’re in the middle of our worst cold snap of the year, wherein it’s 50s during the day and low 40s at night, as opposed to a couple of weeks ago when it was in the 80s. Sigh. We’re going to get together Sunday night when he arrives, but I don’t really know what we can do at night in LA other than walk around freezing and maybe try to grab some food while walking and try not to infect each other in the few minutes we’re eating with our masks off. Fun!!

I’ve been on a tear - one I recognize as obsessive-compulsive at this point - arranging camping and glamping trips for us, to fill the void that is my life. I booked a Kern River camping trip for July 4 weekend, and booked the Cambria cabin for Mother’s Day. Now I’m looking at the first six months of this year with a critical eye - six weeks with no travel is too much, it needs to be every three-four weeks! I’m desperate to get back to the desert again before the window closes and it’s too hot - in particular Mojave, which has three more sites I’d like to see - but other than that, as the BF pointed out...we’ve kind of seen everything already. It is true that as far as close by, quick weekend trips, which we’re mostly limited to, we’re kind of running out of options. Now I’m sort of kicking myself that I didn’t book Zion for spring break...but I know why I didn’t; because it’s still too cold there that last week of March. Well, maybe if Hawaii still isn’t possible this summer, we can go then. I’ve been fantasizing about getting a Subaru Outback and a rooftop tent and taking off to Death Valley by myself whenever I feel like it...while also acknowledging that I wouldn’t feel safe in a remote place like that alone, and it would be fucked up of me to not include my family in my plans. I only have ten-twelve years left with these kids - nine have already flown by. The time for solo stuff will come; but not yet.