I drove to the rose bowl for my usual walk but it was pouring rain by the time I got there, so I just sat and obsessively scrolled. School closing announcement came; they say two weeks, but the boys were sent home with two months’ worth of work. I know schools in Washington state are closed until end of April - that’s what I’m going to expect here, too. I hope they have the kids go to school all summer so I don’t have to shell out for summer camp, too. Of course the very idea that life could be normal enough by summer that we could even sign up for camp seems remote at the moment. It’s funny to think I once saw a week off school due to the teachers’ strike as a huge life adjustment! Now not only are schools closed for probably months, but due to social distancing there will be no relief in the form of rec centers opening up, play dates, classes, indoor play areas, malls, movies, or playgrounds. There is literally nothing we can do but sit at home. For months.
I had two brunch and movie dates with girlfriends this weekend; canceled both. In fact I removed all my social engagements and gigs for the next two months off my calendar. It is as bare as a baby’s bottom. I am trying not to fall into utter despair.
Despite having bought Theo three cupcakes I decided to make a cake from scratch which turned out to be an utter disaster (no more making cakes from my 1930s cook book - they’re all dry and tasteless) and then spent the afternoon wrapping his presents. He seemed delighted with everything, and now the boys are playing their new PS4. What’s going to get me through the next few weeks of isolation? That PS4 is, that’s what. You’ve gotta love children and their complete inability to grasp world events. Theo doesn’t have the slightest clue what’s going on, only that it was his sixth birthday and he got cool presents and everything is awesome. God bless his innocent little soul.
My event situation remains in flux - I issued a statement that we are hopeful to continue operations as usual; and that is still my hope, but I’m preparing for the worst. The only thing I can think of to stay afloat if the event is canceled or takes a huge hit due to low attendance is to try for a small business disaster loan as I did after Katrina. Honestly, if events and businesses are still closed six months from now the world will be in such utter chaos that I’m sure I won’t be the only one suffering and there will have to be emergency measures in place - stoppage of mortgage payments, utilities, health insurance, etc, otherwise about 80% of the US will be out on the street starving. How do you all like Trump’s America? Are we winning yet? You assholes?
I keep looking at my FB profile picture, taken just last weekend-! and feeling like I’m looking at a picture of a nightclub in Warsaw the night before Nazi tanks rolled into Poland. Everything was so normal. And then it wasn’t, and everything was the worst nightmare imaginable. Literally in a matter of days. This is our reality right now. And I’m sad to say it’s only going to get worse. All of us are going to know someone who dies because of this. Many businesses and artists will never be able to continue because the economic devastation is so intense. We may not even be able to hold an election, which is more terrifying to me than anything.
Since we’ve taken these draconian measures in LA, will it save us? Will two months of hunkering down help us avoid becoming northern Italy? Or was this all too late and within a week we’ll be there anyway? How bad is it going to get? Will life ever be normal again? These are the questions everyone is asking. And the one thing we need most - community in-person support and comfort - we can’t have.
For now, this was last night at Theo’s little party. He is six. He is smart and funny and full of energy. He passed his Orange Words with 100%. We are proud of him and glad he’s here.
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