12 weeks - almost

I had my twelve week appointment today. Sometimes this is the appointment where women get terrible news. But not for those of us obsessed with our home dopplers. No sir. I listen to Radio Ga Ga every night, so I knew unless something horrible happened overnight that there would be a nice strong heartbeat today, and there was. And she did an ultrasound as well, and for the first time I really saw the baby - not just a little nubbin like last time; this time a real little person with fingers and toes who yawned and put its hands on its head (one of Bumpus' favorite gestures). I'm a bit of an old hand at this point but boy, it was pretty incredible. To think how quickly the little guy or girl has grown - in such a short amount of time, while I've been emptying the dishwasher and watching Real Housewives and filing orders. This person has been forming a whole body. Makes my current job pale in comparison, really!

I was able to make an October appointment with the more desirable midwife which makes me feel a bit better - if things start to get complicated I would rather be with her. This current one is nice enough and I do appreciate her low key bedside manner, but it bothers me that I often know more about some things than she does; you never want to feel like you know more than your doctor! I feel like if I start having complications she may not be very helpful. 

A friend is currently at her due date and posts every day on FB about wanting the baby to come - this is so alien to me, since I never had that "ok, 40 weeks has come and gone - now what?" experience. I was SO not ready to give birth at 39 weeks, and the whole thing was so sad, depressing, and scary (being induced early due to pre-eclampsia). I remember being radio silent on FB about it and everyone texting asking if I was ok, because I just couldn't bear to be public about what I was going through. More superstitious types would think for how much misery I was in when B was born that that would have rubbed off on him somehow, but no - he's one of the most easy going, joyful people I know. Just goes to show these kids have personalities that are far stronger than anything we can put on them!