11 weeks

I'm a week shy of being at the end of the first trimester. Very exciting! The "I'm out" posts on my March 2014 WTE board have begun to slow down, which is encouraging. For anyone who's ever spent time on these birth month boards, the first few weeks are nothing but women reporting their miscarriages, which can be freaky. But as with all things this pregnancy, I took all of that with a grain of salt. It's sad but it is part of the process for a lot of people, pregnancy loss. As usual, you just have to cross your fingers and hope it doesn't happen to you. 

Had a very pleasant time at the beach yesterday. Met with three mothers from my old (now largely inactive) meet up group. All of the babies are now toddling around. At one point three of them were standing in a row with their mouths open waiting for us, the mothers with the food, to spoon up some lunch for them. It was probably one of the cutest things I've ever seen. 

I took B down to the water with no intention of putting him in - I figured it would be like past attempts at the ocean; I would let him down and he'd just start walking back up the sand away from the water. But for whatever reason, not this time. He ran straight for the waves, laughing and having a blast. I held his hands so he wouldn't be swept away, but he was all into it - for probably a good half hour, up to his shoulders in the water, having a blast. He was fearless. Which made me very proud.

Then I saw his teeth chattering so I took him out - and as he wasn't too thrilled with this, I wrapped him tightly with a towel and held him like a tiny baby, rocking him back and forth. I was doing it to be funny, figuring he'd be sick of it and want down. But no. He got very quiet and just lay there. For a long time. Finally I was tired so I sat down and rocked him, and again, he just lay there. I was starting to worry that there was something wrong with him, like maybe he had hypothermia,  or got water in his lungs...? But no. Just for a few moments, I think he wanted to feel like a little baby again. There was something incredibly poignant about a nostalgic toddler. 

The event rages on. I'm enjoying watching my lengthy to do list shrink. Now it's mostly paperwork, writing up all the handouts (that everyone subsequently ignores). It's a lot of work still. But it'll get done.

Money situation is still incredibly dire. I don't think I'll have had this tight a year since 2001. But somehow, it's not bothering me. I feel pretty happy. I guess it's not what you have, it's who you have, right?