Today I visited a friend who just had her second baby a week ago. I asked how the birth went, and she said not good. She was another person who was really traumatized and needed to talk about it. I wish I could offer my services to listen to women vent about their crappy birth experiences! I never tire of hearing it and it seems like a much needed service in the world, especially to new mothers who can't afford/don't have time to seek out professional therapy. My Kaiser midwife asked if I ever saw the therapist she had recommended - who has time for that, with a newborn? Or the money?
It does freak me out a little that her second birth experience sucked. In order for me to seek out a second pregnancy, I have to believe the following with all my heart:
I will get pregnant easily
I will not lose the pregnancy
The baby will be normal & healthy
The birth will be better than last time
None of these things may end up being true. But I have to convince myself they will be true in order to be able to march forward. A little denial never hurt anybody, right?
At least I'm encouraged by this new spate of early genetic tests - ones that were only being released to the public around the time B was born. This MaterniT21 test can detect chromosomal disorders as early as nine weeks, is non-invasive and therefore zero risk, AND you can find out the sex! How awesome is that?
Equally awesome is an upcoming documentary about choice motherhood called First Comes Love, airing on HBO next month. I listened to an interview with the filmmaker and can't wait to watch it.
That's what a postpartum doula does besides tend to the physical/ home duties post birth.
ReplyDeleteI can't remember now if you've ever mentioned meditation in the past. I listened to Circle + Bloom's IUI/IVF series during my last two IUIs, and I was surprised how helpful it was (I've never much been into that sort of thing). It's a great tool for shaping your thinking and leading you down more positive paths ('everything is happening at exactly the right time' was a big phrase for me). And I've just started reading/listening to my Hypnobabies home study pack, which, in a way, is more of the same.
ReplyDeleteOh yeah, and I did the Harmony test (basically the same as MaterniT21, but offered to a wider variety of women) at 11w5d, and it gave me HUGE peace of mind to know that everything was a-okay. And finding out the sex early was awesome, too!
I hadn't heard of that documentary & am looking forward to it now...tho in Canada, I'll probably have to wait :(
ReplyDeleteSomehow I missed your last post or two. Of the two options, my gut says go with the temple one (especially since it is non-religious).
ReplyDeleteThere is a fine line between the right amount of pushy and being too pushy (and unless warranted I think I tend to edge on the side of less pushy). I think B's development (walking and talking) is just fine. There is a huge typical range for that stuff before you should start being too concerned. But I completely get why seeing and hearing about children doing more at his age would get you thinking.
I will have to see if my mom has HBO and if it will be airing while I am at her house. Apparently there is documentary coming up on MTV about a donor conceived girl looking for her roots too. It's interesting to see this stuff becoming more and more mainstream.
Oh and I hope that those four things do end up becoming true.
I think preschool has been great for Annelise. And as time goes by I think it will continue to be positive experience for her (and me).
ReplyDeleteI sometimes feel intimidated by all the things other children Annelise's age can do and wonder if I'm not doing enough. But I try to remember that in the grand scheme of things knowing that a cow says "Moo" at 26 months isn't that important. And while I hate to admit it I'm going to be relying on school to fill in where I'm deficient.