Hippity hop

It's hard to believe I am one week shy of my next band trip - this one being the farthest we've ever gone (Seoul). This will be the case pretty much all year except for August and December; always three weeks away from another trip. Not complaining. It sure does break up the monotony and give you something to look forward to.

I have decided to jump ahead and do my laundry room/powder room conversion. Having one more toilet in this house is increasingly becoming more urgent, and I figure I have the money now so I'd better do it now. I'm not thrilled at 2-4 weeks more of construction around here, but when that's done the two remaining untouched areas of the house will be all new and fabulous; my much outdated and useless office/junk room will be the new laundry room (with a small table to rest my printer and wireless router on) and the current filthy service porch will be a quaint powder room. A couple of days ago I went to a salvage yard and bought a 1950's blue sink and toilet. Fingers crossed I can find the parts for them. Here I am doing my usual "making everything difficult so I can have vintage things" deal. Have I mentioned my first car was a 1962 Falcon that broke down constantly? Enough said.

Today is the second of Bobby's "hippity hop" classes. So far he's learned to jump with his feet apart and his feet together. All righty then.

A sort of homecoming

I am back from the first of eight trips this year. It went well. 

I had a lot of anxiety all weekend, and was starting to beat myself up about it, until I remembered my circumstances - leaving two small children behind, but also having to learn several new songs in just a matter of days and with only one run through before performing them live in front of a very sophisticated and discerning audience - well, that would make any rational person anxious.

So, unsure of how I would sound, I took to my usual tactic of "I may not sound right but I can at least look right". So, if you will permit me, here are my looks for our three performances:

Friday night, after flying all day, performing 1-4 AM

Headlining Saturday night

...and finally Sunday night, the dress I lost weight for. 

I got to have good quality time with my bandleader, much needed, and even met with a local SMBC and blog reader (hi!).

The BF spent the weekend running the kids ragged with the babysitter and sent me videos every day which I watched obsessively. 

I came home to a bit of a chaotic mess - the BF had left the hot tub heater on, which meant that when pool mode kicked in each day, the pool heated up, to a balmy 96 degrees. The pool was also running continuously all weekend (supposed to be just a few hours a day). Both of those things are going to cost a fucking fortune when my gas and electric bills come up this month. Also my back yard shed door was swinging wide open, which is never a good thing. The house was a bit of a mess, even though the sitter is really good about washing dishes, emptying garbage, etc - I walked in at 9 pm and the kids were running around and she was cleaning up and talking a mile a minute and Bobby pushed Theo off a chair and the BF barked at him to apologize and the pool was running and ughhhh...I just wanted to get back on the plane!

Ain't no happiness nowhere.

Things were looking up until this morning when a giant waterbug crawled up my arm in the bathroom. I screamed like a lunatic and then had the fun of trying to kill & dispose of it. I have seen way too many of those fucking things in the last year and that is totally unacceptable. I spent tonight clogging every hole in the bathroom with spackle. Please tell me this will keep those bastards in the walls where they belong.

Now I try to focus back on normal life for two weeks until it's time to leave for Korea. Well, heck, since the pool's already heated up I may just jump in tomorrow. Fuck it.

Baby steps

Two more days until my trip to DC to sing at a big event all weekend. I leave Friday morning and get back late Monday night. As much as I'm looking forward to it, I am also feeling guilty and anxious. What if there's an earthquake? What if the babysitter gets in a car accident? What if the kids get sick? What if they hate me for leaving them?

Well, I signed Bobby up for some bullshit hip hop "enrichment" class at school which should totally make up for my callous abandonment, right???

I have to learn several new songs (some I've never even heard before) which I will have to perform with no rehearsal. And my bandleader hasn't even told me which ones yet. Have I mentioned I'm a little anxious?

Anyway, things have been good around the house. It's amazing how smoothly things go when nobody's sick. Knock wood. Yesterday when I went to pick up B there were whispers of a Hand, Foot and Mouth disease outbreak circulating at the school. Oh, goodie. 

Things going good with the BF. His smoking cessation stalled a bit when his vaporizer started leaking and he stopped using it, but now it's fixed and he's back on it, although he hates it. A friend with a similar lifetime smoking addiction posted on FB that he had finally quit with the help of a low dose of Wellbutrin. I had never heard of this therapy before but it sounds very promising - I love it when drugs turn out to have bizarre other uses, like the cancer drug that helped me get pregnant (Femara). Of course, to get a prescription of Wellbutrin, he has to first get health insurance, which at the moment is totally out of reach. *sigh*. Baby steps.

Food Inc

Here is a picture of my four-year-old eating vegetables. It's a Festivus miracle.

I always thought I would be the kind of mother who's kids would be great eaters - adventurous, open, copious. Yeah, no. My kids eat like five things. Mostly because I make them like five things. Mostly because when I put out the effort to create thoughtful, balanced meals of new foods, they are roundly rejected. I know this doesn't matter and you need to keep trying. But night after night of that, throwing your creations down the garbage disposal while your children go to bed hungry (and the older one is so thin he can still wear 2T pants, just as capris) is just too much. So I fall back on the hits. Egg sandwiches. Soy sausages wrapped In tortillas with cheese. Quesadillas. In other words, nothing healthy. At all. It sucks, and I don't know what to do other than to keep introducing new things and throwing them down the garbage disposal untouched.

I can see why our parents made us sit at the table until our plates were clean. I guarantee you if I tried this tactic, however, that Bobby would win. Oh, he would win.

In other news, both kiddos on the mend and back in school this week so I've been getting a lot done. I am preparing to dj a swing dance tomorrow for the first time from my computer and not CDs (God help me) and am prepping for my trip to DC weekend after this one.

I am a bit worried about all my upcoming travel. I have a weekend away just about every three weeks until my event in Sept. I'm happy to do it but am worried how the kids will handle it now that they're older. Fingers crossed it'll be ok.

Freedom or bust

Well, so far my "week of freedom" has been a complete bust. Monday the preschool called me to pick up Theo early because he had a fever, so I picked up both kids and monitored his fever which was alarmingly high - 102.8 - but was mostly gone by the next day. Then as I picked up B from school on Tuesday the teacher pointed out what I had already started to notice - the bumps on Bobby's face were back, plus the red, bloody crusty nose which I had attributed to allergies. I opted to take him to the doctor Weds rather than have him sent home. So yesterday it was mommy & Bobby day (first one ever) as Theo went to school and we spent the day at the doctor's office. Turns out he tested positive for strep. Got him antibiotics again. Then went for frozen yogurt and to buy a new end table.

Being alone with a four year old is awesome. You don't need a stroller, you can talk to them, they (mostly) listen and help you. Bobby is just starting to be easier as Theo is starting to be more difficult. I was sadly reminded of how much easier life would be with just one older child. But that's not the life I chose, is it?

Today, much to my chagrin, I am stuck at home with both kids and nothing to do as Bobby is not allowed back at school until tomorrow. They are alternately playing together nicely and then destroying everything, including each other. Only six more hours!

If all goes well, they can at last both be at school tomorrow and I can see a friend for lunch and then go shopping. At least I get one dream day, right???

Here is B playing with his science set and pouring water all over the kitchen floor, which I repeatedly have to mop up. *sigh*

Easter! The musical

How much better was this Easter than that one two years ago when I took two-year-old Bobby and newborn Theo to that horrid, packed Easter event downtown? Ummm...about a thousand times better. Just about everything other than the new baby snuggles is better in my life now than it was then. Which is good to remember.

The Boyfriend took great pleasure in shopping for, putting together, and then hiding eggs for our front yard hunt today. He used to do this with his ex and her teenaged kids and I could tell he really missed it. And it went really well. Bobby shared with his little brother and nobody stumbled in my sloped yard and poked an eye out on a succulent.

They enjoyed the elaborate dollar store Easter baskets I made: 

...and then after the BF went to work I took the kids on a lengthy outing to a canyon hike in Malibu. It was a gorgeous day and I just wanted to get as much of it as I could. 

Tomorrow Theo starts three day preschool. It is the first week in ages I don't have to prepare for taxes, birthday parties, random band stuff or Easter. I can finally focus on the (much neglected) business, finish up home stuff (sell furniture, paint walls, hang pictures), and heck, maybe even relax a little. Woo!

Four!

Young Master Bobby turns four tomorrow. It's hard to believe that four years ago tonight I was suffering day two of a horrible unwanted induction and right about now lost my shit and started screaming that somebody had better find me a doctor who could come up with a better plan than "let's just wait and see". Ahhhh, memories.

The last week has been a whirlwind of activity, between my sister visiting and Theo starting preschool and the boys' combo birthday party on Sunday. 

She made this cake:

...and this robot from recycling I'd been collecting for this purpose:

I booked an indoor play space for fear of rain which of course did not appear. It was considerably more expensive than our usual train museum, but I have to say I'm kind of sold on the indoor play space. They set up, break down, and decorate for you, you're in and out in two hours, the kids can safely run wild while the parents actually get to socialize, and you don't have to worry about rain. Mind you, I was still a calcified ball of stress leading up to it and the day of, but way less than our usual production. Tons of people canceled at the last minute, but still the place was packed:

It was an interesting mix of preschool parents I'd never met, dance people (many with no kids), and a lone SMC mom and her new baby. There are so many dance kids these days that at one point my friend and I looked at them in amazement and said how strange it was to think that even five years ago none of those kids existed! There for sure has been a massive baby boom in my community lately. Two of my dance friends just had their fourth!

Bobby and Theo had a blast:

...and I entertained myself with my carefully chosen Kraftwerk theme music even though you couldn't really hear it over the screaming. All in all a big success. 

In other news, the day before the party I suddenly got a bug up my ass and told The Boyfriend that I was very worried about his health - mainly his lack of health insurance and his smoking. He reacted defensively at first, but very quickly came around. He said that he hates that the boys see him smoke and it bothers him all the time. He said he's tried to quit many times and failed - but he also knows that you should "never quit quitting". He's been a heavy smoker for 35 years. It is not going to be an easy road. But he is willing to try. We immediately got him a vaporizer and he has cut down from a pack and a half a day to 6-7 a day, with the intention of stopping entirely eventually and then stopping vaping too. I am cautiously optimistic. 

Being cautiously optimistic, I booked us a trip to the big island (Hawaii) for my birthday/our anniversary this July, using mileage points and hotel points (so 100% free). Can I break my Hawaii curse and actually have a good trip this time? Will we break up before we even get to go? Will the kids get sick and I won't be able to go? Will he annoy the crap out of me the whole time? Or will it be awesome?

Only time will tell!