As of now, you wouldn’t know large swaths of our city had been destroyed, from where I am. Blue skies and most debris cleaned up. Today is, for now at least, the last dangerous day as winds are supposed to pick up in certain areas (again, not here). So we’re all just sitting and waiting and crossing our fingers. So far existing fires seem pretty well contained. I’m keeping an eye out, still obsessively checking the news and then abruptly shutting it off when the orange turd inevitably comes on.
Our house and yard are covered in dirt and ash - don’t even ask me about the pool - and I would get out and clean, but the yard guys and pool guys will probably do all that…? I’m still afraid of the air quality and exacerbating my already horrific head cold which just lingers on and on. Well, that’s my excuse for being lazy, anyway.
Speaking of head cold, I already mentioned this, but it bears repeating - because I’ve had days and days of not being able to taste anything, I’ve come to realize this is like the poor man’s Ozempic. I find I’ve lost all interest in food. Because I get no enjoyment out of it, I don’t bother with it. Unlike Ozempic, it doesn’t quiet the food chatter in my brain - I still constantly think about getting up for a snack, etc - but because I know I’m not going to get a dopamine hit from the food, that I’d essentially just be wasting it, I don’t bother. This is why I don’t drink or do drugs. So I’m just eating simple, nutritious things in small amounts, things I’ll get enough protein and vitamins from, but nothing unctuous and good. It’s an interesting dilemma - as much as this annoying condition has made dieting easier, not getting enjoyment from food definitely sucks a lot of joy out of life. I don’t want to be the kind of person who “forgets to eat” and hates cooking and just wants fuel to get through the day - I want to be a person who sees food as love and bonding and celebration, who gets rhapsodic over working with vegetables and herbs and acids and fats and good things; I want to suck the very marrow of life, and food is a big part of the human experience. However, being that person and also being a 50-something woman trying to maintain a healthy weight are largely incompatible. La luta continua. It’ll be interesting to see what happens when my poor raw bloody nose finally de-congests and I can smell and taste again. I hope I don’t start stress-binging for the pure bacchanalian pleasure of it.
No comments:
Post a Comment