The school year is starting to wind down. You can feel it everywhere, this anticipation of summer; you’d think it was May already and not March. It’s probably because we are having a heat spell at the moment. Next week calms back down to normal early spring temperatures.
After lots of texts and confusion, we have determined not to use contractor #3 because he’s just too expensive - it would probably cost about $50,000 more to finish this cabin if we had him do it. Which is particularly egregious for me since I had agreed to have him start only to pull the rug out from under him just the day before. However, I have to admit the F was right about this one. There are times when having a partner around to help you avoid ruinous financial decisions is a good thing. This week was all about getting the container delivered and placed, both of which thankfully happened without a hitch. And, remarkably, contractor #2 has stated he’s available to fix our roof at a fraction of the cost of the #3 guy and was planning to start today. He also said he’d like to get the bathroom banged out and windows and door in before he leaves in April. I don’t see how any of this can actually happen, and we’ve been let down so many damned times that I don’t dare hope. But maybe…?
Next week I have to get a prenup started and I’m full of anxiety about it. We’ve talked about having a prenup a lot over the years - and the F is fully on board - but at this moment I don’t know for sure that he completely understands just how much I intend to keep all of my shit separate. Maybe he knows this, but maybe he doesn’t. To me the main sticking point will be this cabin, which, even though has been entirely on my dime, he may end up putting in countless hours of labor over the years to make it useable for us. And I can see how it would appear unfair that, if we were to split up, I get to keep whatever increase in value came from all his unpaid labor. So my plan is, if he objects to me keeping this cabin 100% in case of a divorce, maybe offering some kind of agreed upon buy out of his labor. Hopefully it won’t come to that - and hopefully all of this is a moot point since we won’t get divorced - but I’m terrified of being ripped off or taken advantage of, especially when there are kids involved and everything I do is for their legacy, not his, and certainly not him and some woman he hooks up with after we divorce and her stupid kids. So before I start drafting this thing with the lawyer we need to have a real conversation about how I don’t intend to share anything with him - not my retirement, not my house or businesses or money or anything else, and that he’s essentially on his own, as he has been. I figure this conversation could go anywhere from “of course” to “the wedding is off”. It’s true. It could go that badly that we decide not to get married at all. Not probable, but possible. Just one of the many pitfalls of getting married later in life when you’re already established. There’s just so much at stake for me if this marriage goes wrong. That’s why I want to limit my risk as much as possible. I watched Bad Vegan! I know what happens-!
Last night I had a maskless date night at an indoor dance - also a first - and reconnected with a lot of people. On the top of everyone’s list of questions is what my covid policy will be for my event, and I just don’t know. I’ll talk with my epidemiologist friend again, of course, but just like last year I know I won’t follow his advice to the fullest; he doesn’t think of things from a business perspective, as in, he’s very much an absolutist that everyone must be vaxxed and boosted, no exceptions - but I recognize medical exemptions and am considering not requiring boosters since statistically that would reduce 60% of my audience, and by September most of us who got boosted, that booster will be 9-10 months old, so does it really matter anymore? I’m considering offering a negative test in place of a missing booster in order to be more accessible. And masks, hopefully those can be optional. It’s so hard to walk the line between what cities and states are recommending vs what our very cautious dance community considers necessary (a much higher bar). I think the only thing I can for sure say is vaccines will be required (with exemptions), you can test out of boosters, and masks will be optional. And that everything except vaccine requirements will be subject to change. That may not be very satisfactory for people, but surely after all we’ve been through, people will get it’s impossible to set a policy in April that will still be applicable in September.
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