There was nothing about this pandemic experience that was good, helpful, or inspiring. It was just something to be gotten through, and so far, we have. Knock wood on that. I’m glad other people have learned lessons and will make big changes going forward; I, on the other hand, just want this nightmarish bullshit to be over so I can have my life back as it was (except with an additional $200,000 in debt, yaaaaaay).
But. I am profoundly grateful that we are, as of this moment at least, all healthy and alive. I’m grateful for the economic support I’ve been able to get so that we’ve been able to still live comfortably (even though, yes, horrific debt). I’m grateful the kids are happy and thriving and their schooling, while a pain in the ass, is actually bearable unlike last spring. I’m grateful my relationship has survived - and, indeed, thrived - under these circumstances. I hope going forward having the BF around more becomes a regular thing. That’s the only thing I would change about our old life.
The last few days as I’ve seen a) this new, more highly contagious strain of COVID invade our shores, and b) the vaccine rollout fall woefully short of plans, it’s made me a lot less optimistic about running an event in 2021. Honestly...the thought of trying to put on an event as the pandemic is still not contained completely, fills me with dread. I don’t want to do it. The idea of demanding everyone has been fully vaccinated before entry, having to still limit attendance and force mask wearing for the entirety of the event (which is probably the only way to hold an event next year) sounds so perfectly horrible that I’d rather just skip it. Just skip it and wait until we can have an event the way we want it, normal. There’s a good chance ordinary folks like us won’t get our second dose of the vaccine until well into the summer. How, exactly, am I going to plan a huge international event in just a month or two...? So this has been on my mind. As much as it will hurt financially and as much as I worry about people forgetting about us...I worry more about putting on a sub-par, break-even and possibly dangerous event that’s just going to stress me out. No - instead I’d rather open registration for 2022 on what would have been my 2021 weekend, *maybe* throw together a very abbreviated virtual event of one day or maybe not do anything at all, and leave everything to settle for a full year so we can come back strong and safe. That’s my thought at the moment. I’m sure in another five minutes I’ll change my mind again.
Most importantly first thing next year is we get rid of Trump. And if we win the Senate next week, even better. My children are bound to return to school at some point next year, especially if school staff can get vaccinated soon which it sounds like they will. I’m still holding out for a post-spring break return.
Speaking of spring break, I have painstakingly orchestrated a week-long desert extravaganza for us, starting with two nights in yurts near Julian (apples, mines, gold rush CA stuff), then three nights in cabins at a campground in Anza Borrego state park (dunes, slot canyons, hikes, desert bloom), and finally two nights in Desert Hot Springs in cabins at a cheap resort where I’m hoping we can soak in mineral waters at night (from here we’ll visit Salton Sea’s Bombay Beach for real desert decay and general weirdness). I’m inordinately excited about it. Three months can’t come soon enough. And my boys will be seven and nine then. Crazy.
So here’s to kicking 2020 out with the trash along with Trump and the first miserable year of the COVID nightmare. I don’t expect 2021 to be a good year but I do expect it to be better. Please.
In other news, Theo lost his first tooth, and today I’m trying out THC balm for my awful unrelenting arm pain and I *think* it might be working.
Happy New Year, everyone!
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