A symbol of the soon-to-be rotting corpse of the GOP? From my fingertips to God’s ears.
I had planned on voting in person because fears of ballot shenanigans, but instead today decided to do the early drop box voting like most of my friends here in CA. Easy, peasy, done. Not much concern about voter suppression here in LA, so why not. That way I can hunker down in the house on Election Day, avoid any violence or weirdness, and instead obsessively doom scroll while CNN drones in the background. I know we won’t necessarily have results that night; but I am interested to watch these swing states as they develop. Not to sound like Trump himself, but I have to admit if we actually lose after all this time of solid polling in our favor, I’m going to have to question if the election was rigged. There’s just no way T can win at this point. How can he? He just can’t. And the senate ain’t looking so great for Republicans, either.
So yet another week of distance learning is on the books. It’s manageable...but honestly, it really sucks. Much to my surprise, Theo is doing pretty well - it’s Bobby who’s suddenly become difficult. There is a ton of silent reading to do during his school day, which he resists something awful, and we’ve caught him fooling around and chatting with friends on a few occasions. He whines and complains about everything he has to do, which leaves me utterly exhausted and drained by the end of the day. I look at the weeks and months of this spreading in front of me like a river of fire and it fills me with despair. Pretty much every day I say to myself, “I don’t think I can take much more of this.” And yet I have no choice.
Adding to the stress is the BF is interviewing for a job again, this time one he had passed on a while ago that is now offering more money. It still may go nowhere, and I don’t know the details as far as hours or location...but the idea of him being out of the house 10-12 hours a day while I’m on the hook for entire full days of relentless childcare, scares me to death. At least right now I get to walk in the morning and can still have the occasional socially-distanced meet up with a friend during the day and he’ll just go into his current part-time job later. I feel like these are the only things keeping me from losing it. I already yelled at Bobby for being so frustratingly obstinate and made him cry earlier this week...ugh. I see a lot of that in my future if he takes this job. I’m trying hard not to worry about it until it’s more real. We’ll see.
It’s hard to be a parent right now, trying to prepare for this highly unusual (read: shitty) holiday season, trying to keep things “upbeat” and normal, and yet every minute of every day we’re pummeled with terrible doomsday news - the election will take weeks or months to sort out and be accompanied by violence and chaos; this winter is going to be a nightmare of Covid deaths and infections unlike anything we’ve ever seen. MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
It’s no wonder I’m struggling a bit emotionally.
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