I’m gearing up for my virtual event starting this Friday. There is still a lot to do, and of course I’ve been frustratingly left with things at the last minute out of my control - typical. And I have to wrestle these kids through home school every day (Bobby is a snap - Theo has a lot of independent work to do, which means I have a lot of independent work to do). It’s going to be really odd sitting in front of my computer all weekend watching my own livestream and just hoping it all goes well. So many pieces that have to come together. I’ll be on pins and needles from about 6 pm until midnight every night. It’s going to be utterly draining. But I hope it hits just the right notes of fun and heartwarming, and I hope people get a kick out of it even if some parts of it aren’t exactly smooth. So many people are saying they’re excited for next year that I’m beginning to have a glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, if I can run a live event, people will actually show up. But everything is unknown right now.
I had a minor meltdown over the weekend about the election. Despite my earlier enthusiasm, Biden’s lead has slipped, and we are once again in a tight race, a fact I find infuriating and maddening. How can anyone vote for this cretin. I mean, I get it, last time most people didn’t really know how awful he was, or how much damage he could do in four years. But this time? This time??? Well, if you’re voting for Trump in 2020 it just makes you a horrible person, end of story. This shouldn’t be a close race, at all. We should be winning by a landslide. And yet. Right now it’s a close race. Most likely outcome is once again we’ll win the popular vote but lose the electoral college because somehow rural voters’ votes should count 10x what mine does. Ok. Makes sense...
I just can’t stand the thought of a Trump win. I don’t know how I’m going to survive emotionally. I can’t go through this again, I can’t. I have no fight in me to see a positive side. I asked the BF to please tell me we’ll survive another four years of Trump, and he said we’ll survive, but it’s going to suck. God, as if things could suck worse!!!
Anyway, I’m not going to go on and on about it; just to say every second of my life is tinged with the terror that we’re not going to win this, and that my kids will be 12 and 10 by the time this asshole is finally out of our lives, and god knows what will have happened by the time that moment comes...god knows how much irreparable damage will have been done.
I’m the meantime, I just booked a camping trip over Halloween with our camping friends. I figure it’s the best way to spend the weirdest Halloween ever; it’s hopefully the only time we’ll ever not have access to trick-or-treating, so might as well do something special. We can do our candy-Easter egg-Halloween hunt on the campground rather than in the yard. Got to have some semblance of normalcy even when everything is so not.
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