Covidlandia

We’re still in a bit of June gloom here. Mornings are overcast and cold, making me think about the long fall and winter ahead of us, and wonder what they will be like. Since before I had kids, I have not been in such a state of uncertainty before. I literally have no idea what the world is going to look like in six months. Other than my hair being six inches longer - I’m just going to go for it and be hippie middle aged woman with braids, fuck it - I’m at a loss.

Out of nowhere we got supply lists for each of the kids’ grades - including individual PE kits (balls, frisbee, etc) for Bobby’s grade - from the school. I’m hesitant to run out and buy any of it, though. I’m still skeptical there will be any in-person school this year, or even if they offer it, I’m not 100% I would even send the kids. If it were just Bobby it would be a no-brainer...but Theo is a lot harder to settle down for lessons at home. Sigh. A lot can happen in the next six weeks. We’ll see. 

LA has toggled back its re-opening, including closing beaches for the upcoming 4th of July weekend. We leave for another camping trip the following day, through Wednesday. For 4th of July we’ll just be at home, like everyone else. We’ll have a pretty spectacular show from our porch. It’s got to beat last year’s fiasco in which it took several hours to retrieve my purse from the bag check at the Rose Bowl, with two tired and miserable children and everyone losing their shit and threatening to sue. Yeah, things were better before COVID...but they also still sucked sometimes, too.

For now I’m working a little bit every day on my virtual event, refunding people, and trying to stay on top of things. The BF has spoken with a recruiter about potential jobs - which fills me with mixed feelings. His pandemic unemployment supplement runs out this month meaning hard times ahead...but if he gets a job, it means worse times for me, especially if he’s not around to help with the home schooling. It’s complicated. Right now I have a lot of freedom to go off on my own during the day, which keeps me sane - this will end when he goes back to work. For now I’m keeping my expectations low and just hoping we get this weekend’s camping trip and my birthday trip on the books - one or both could be cancelled by new restrictions at any time - and then when August hits, expect a lifestyle change. School will start in some form, I’ll have to really hustle to make sure everything falls into place with my online event, and something will have to give with regards to the BF’s work situation. 

Then we just sit, and wait. Wait for news on COVID numbers, wait for the election. It’s like being perpetually nine months pregnant. You’re uncomfortable and full of trepidation, you want your current situation to be over, and you’re so sick of it all that you just want to be able to think about something else for five minutes. And yet what you’re going to have to go through to get to the other side also fills you with terror. Yep. Welcome to Covidlandia.