The US has simply moved so impossibly far from my values that I don’t really know what I’m doing here any more. The fucked up thing is - I know I’m actually in the majority. I want equality for women, justice for minorities, safe accessible abortion, transparency in government, universal health care, anti-trust laws, etc etc. And yet the people who don’t want these things continue to lie, cheat and steal elections to push their draconian racist pseudo-Christian Gilead Republican nightmare down our throats. How do we defeat them? Can we? I just don’t think we can survive another Trump election. I don’t even know if we’re going to survive until the next election.
So I figure if Trump wins again, my business can’t recover, and my band never plays again because endless seasonal rounds of superbugs render any kind of gatherings permanently impossible...well...it might just be time to jump ship.
I know this is stupid. I know it’s difficult, if not impossible, to emigrate from the US. I know Canada and other imaginary utopias (I’m looking at you, New Zealand) have their own endless issues with horrid treatment of indigenous peoples and other minorities, I know no place is perfect. But god dammit I want to live in a place where at least some of the time I can be proud of our elected leadership - not wake up every day as I have since November 2016 in a constant state of being seconds away from projectile vomiting because I’m so disgusted by what we’ve become as a nation.
And yes, I know we were always this; Trump just encouraged us to stop hiding it. This, too, makes me ill.
I know Canada isn’t the answer - I fucking hate the cold, I don’t know what the hell either of us would do for work, and the last thing I want for my boys is for them to grow up in a depressed rural area with no opportunities (like Cape Breton, which would be great for middle-aged people like me and the BF but I doubt there’s much going on there for young people, which is why they’re reaching out for new population).
But I’m just sickened by this country - the willful, indeed, gleeful ignorance; the racism; the hatred and meanness and grotesque materialism. Not every place is like this. Some places have their priorities straight. And after four years of this white trash nightmare I just don’t see us recovering. Eight years and I don’t see us surviving.
So it’s nice to have an escape hatch - albeit an extremely flawed one. And none of these things may happen. Biden can win in November. Even if he’s not great, he’ll surround himself with great people. My business may be back on track by next year, or the year after that, and our band may even start traveling again, although that’s a ways away. The kids’ school might have some actual in-person schooling, although it’s looking doubtful for the ‘20-‘21 school year. The intense protesting this last week might finally start to turn the tide of police brutality and institutionalized racism...might. I want to be optimistic. When I was fourteen I almost killed myself because I just couldn’t believe things would ever get better. And oh, how they did, and all the amazing experiences I’ve had since! Is this that moment - everything looks so dark and all seems to be going straight in one direction, down - but if I just hang on and push past the impulse to give up, rewards are right around the corner? Like that scene in The African Queen where Humphrey Bogart and Katherine Hepburn think they’re impossibly lost on the river and give themselves up for dead, and yet the way home is just beyond them a few feet away past the bracken? Do I just need to wait for the bracken to clear?
Welp, if not, I’ve got some ski wear and sweater knitting patterns - Oh, Canada, our home and native laaaaand....
As a Canadian, I'd recommend BC, Vancouver Island is lovely all year (very little snow). But BC is a bit pricey compared to other provinces. Vancouver itself is nice too but can be rainy more than the island. You are right, we do have our own issues, I think most countries have some.
ReplyDeleteIf its Canada, maybe consider the west coast for the climate.
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